Swiftly Strictly

This sum up is going to be a dash. Yes, even faster than Rachel and Pasha’s quickstep.

Sophie and Brendan’s Foxtrot was lovely. So why did it make me yawn?

Fiona and Anton’s Rumba should have been sponsored by Vileda Mops – her ass gave that dance floor a proper sorting out.

Mark and Yvetta’s […]

Strictly Settling In

Tess had the cupples all to herself tonight and tried harder than any of the dancers , but alas she is the queen of chill when it comes to presenting.

Kevinfromgrimsby was wearing a shirt made from tights and Suzannah’s moves were more Kung Fu than Tango. And she got the offcuts dress.

Tony, in […]

Strictly Lift Off

Beefy Ben Cohen kicked off the second part of Strictly 2013 and as I only watched the muscles in his arms during his dance I will pass on him.

Fiona Fullerton got her legs in a plait and pouted well to the music but I doubt Anton will dance in December (yet again) this year

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Strictly Ta-Ra for Now

I want a catsuit. Denise wore one on tonight’s Strictly final, and it even made James look good.

Dani would have won if it was Strictly Come Cuteing, but oddly her and Vincent filled their Showdance with several sweaty heft moves. I suspect the amazingdavearchandhisbandsingers drowned out the pair of them grunting as they danced.

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Strictly Sat There!

I was in the audience on Saturday night! And it was bliss. I didn’t want to go home and would cheerily have stayed right there in my chair until the series ends in December. I tried to stage a one fan Strictly sit-in, but I reluctantly left the studio when the security guard lost patience […]

Witter and Glitter

My favourite part of the Strictlyganza final was the group dance. Who knew that Dan Lobb and Rory Bremner had been contestants this year? Edwina hefted on to the floor wearing a dress that was pure Queen Mother and facial expressions that were totally porn star, and Anita emoted all over the place all over […]

The Gary Rhodes Delusional Dancer Award 2011

I’m weary and in need of a Strictly surprise to get me excited for the spurt to the finish. It’s all got soooo predictable…..

Maybe Tess could tell Brucie to shut the fook up mid feeble gag – or not gurn for, say, thirty seconds at least? Or Dave Arch and his band could be […]

Glitterballs and Greetings

It was as if Matt and Kara had run away to join the circus and forgot all about being in Strictly. The two show dances were really just show off dances of their (considerable) acrobatic skills. And Pamela’s was all about nobody puts Granny in the corner.

It was the best Strictly season ever. Next […]

Question Time

There are more questions than answers after this week’s Strictly:

Why was Pamela swingathon-ing in clogs?

Should Matt get exorcised before the final so he can concentrate on dancing and not winning?

Can I have a big night out in with Heartem?

Was Katya growling “Get away from the mirror!” at Gavin during rehearsals the […]

Dance the Fight Fantastic

If Gav gets his skates on he might be able get the hat-trick and win X Factor and Choir of the Year 2010 as well as Strictly. After all that he can have a nice rest in The Priory. He makes being deluded so cute and so orange.

Couldn’t see the full marks in Pamela […]