Stormy Bedding

Sleeping in my new fleece bedding is like being under general anaesthetic.

I put it on my bed for the first time last night and while I was (not at all) busy enjoying it didn’t realise the storm had transported my garden windchime five gardens along, that my winter cyclamen hanging basket was upside down […]

Strictly Furniture Village

It was Strictly Furniture Village tonight, and most of the cupples took a week five dive.

Bad back Natalie is a dancing advertisement for Ibuprofen, or miraculous cures….

I want a pretty back like Abbey Clancy’s.

Deborah and Robin fannied about too long with a table before getting started on their Viennese Waltz.

Dave danced […]

Posh Heels

For the first time in yonks, because I had a very important occasion today, I climbed into high heels.

After 7 hours of wobble I have just levered them off and my trotters are angry. The balls of my feet feel like they have been sandpapered by the world’s strongest man.

By way of an […]

Swiftly Strictly

This sum up is going to be a dash. Yes, even faster than Rachel and Pasha’s quickstep.

Sophie and Brendan’s Foxtrot was lovely. So why did it make me yawn?

Fiona and Anton’s Rumba should have been sponsored by Vileda Mops – her ass gave that dance floor a proper sorting out.

Mark and Yvetta’s […]

Naked Dancing and Double Chocolate Muffins

My supermarket has a letter box and out shopping today I visited that first with a VERY important letter – my ballot form for Wimbledon 2014 tickets. I had sprinkled the envelope with holy water and done my lucky naked dance around it and fired it with enthusiasm into the slot. And somehow posted my […]

Loving Strictly

Aljaz is made of burning rubber which is bad news for Abbey because I was so busy being awestruck by him that I didn’t notice if she danced at all. But I did notice that she thought she should have got a much higher score.

Patrick’s bum sticks out so far when he is dancing […]

Strictly Settling In

Tess had the cupples all to herself tonight and tried harder than any of the dancers , but alas she is the queen of chill when it comes to presenting.

Kevinfromgrimsby was wearing a shirt made from tights and Suzannah’s moves were more Kung Fu than Tango. And she got the offcuts dress.

Tony, in […]

Dial A Ride Sally

I was working at home yesterday afternoon when the doorbell rang.

I was expecting a delivery of a new hoover (how tragic) and opened the front door ready to sign only to find a very elderly gentleman who was trembling with the effort of staying upright on his zimmer frame. I’d paid for a Vax […]