i bread

I was sat in a restaurant last night waiting to order and diners at the tables around me were either eating bread or had crumby side plates that revealed they had previously enjoyed bread.

The waiter ambled over to my table, his  notepad at the ready, and I began by asking him if I could please have some bread.

“Bead?” he replied. I said bread again.

“Bad?” he puzzled. I said bread again.

“Bron?” he suggested helpfully. I sort of agreed with him by saying bron bread yes.

“Ah! Bring!” he said. Yes I agreed, bring bread.

“What is bod?” he frowned. Bread, I said it again.

“Bid?” he wondered aloud. I bid him to bring me bread.

By this time the people  sat nearby stuffing their faces with bread and licking crumbs from their lips were pointing and laughing at my efforts. So I pointed to a bread basket on the table next door and then pointed at myself.

“You want  sit there?” asked the waiter, “I ask!” he said approaching the loved up couple sat  there holding hands across their table for two. They said no.

Finally, short on time and patience I tapped the word ‘bread’  into my iphone and showed it to him and oh, how he chuckled. “You want some burrhead, why you no say?”

I chickened out from asking for burrhurr.

9 comments to i bread

  • Diddy

    was it after 6pm?

  • Ginny Willis

    Where is this restaurant? I must go and try their burrhead. On second thoughts, maybe not as I don’t think I could go for that long without food.

  • Ginny Willis

    Tell me Anna-May, do you stand outside these places that you write about i.e. beauty salons, restaurants, doctors, surgery’s, hospitals etc with a pretend hearing aid on so as to listen to what is going on inside to ensure that there are idiots/masochists and such likes in there so as you can write your blogs? I have never known anyone who has as many exciting experiences of such mundane things.

    I must follow you one day and record you on my cameraphone!!!

  • Probably best to take your own next time to avoid confusion 🙂

  • Julie

    this reminds me of the time I wanted a glass of red wine and asked the waiter was sort he had – he told me he could serve rough wine. I thought’s that’s not very nice but at least he was honest. He then pointed to the wine list where it said “vin rouge ” and I realised that’s what he has mispronounced. I had a bottle of rough wine. As for your bread, I’d go straight to the starter next time if I was you.

  • Jan

    This hilarious story reminds me of a time I spoke to a Spanish woman at a party who told me that she collected humbugs. I thought it was an odd thing to collect especially when she told me that she saved up any extra cash she had so that she could buy a nice one now and then. I was just about to tell her that I preferred pineapple chunks myself when she said that she had in her collection brown suede humbugs, black leather humbugs with shoulder straps, and little beaded clutch humbugs.

  • Ginny Willis

    I once had a French lodger who was having English lessons at a language school in London. She was doing her homework and used the word ‘firstable’. I said I had never heard of that word and she said her teacher always started the lesson with it. Obviously, the teacher could not have been British Council approved as she should have said ‘first of all’!!

  • Anna May

    Weak with laughter after reading these hilarious comments! To Ginny, Julie and Jan I’d firstable like to say I love rough wine and humbugs 🙂