No Lava-ing Matter

I have today e-mailed Gordon Brown and promised him my vote if he will arrange a small detour for HMS Albion between Santander and Plymouth.

 I need the warship to nip over to New York and collect my pre paid copy of Kitty Kelley’s Oprah Winfrey biography, or trashography.  According to a message I got yesterday from Amazon my book order has been delayed indefinitely by Volcano Painintheareso. 

Also, I have put Mr Brown on notice that I may need that ship to wait in port until I have read the book and discovered if Ms Kelley has written anything horrible about Oprah.  If she has I may need the Navy’s help to register my protest.

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