Whose Bed Is It Anyway ?

A UK hotel chain is employing human bedwarmers to heat up beds before their guests climb in for the night. The Daily Telegraph says so –  http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/retailandconsumer/7009900/Hotel-chain-offers-human-bed-warmers.html 

I have questions.

Firstly – gissa job? I could definitely do that. Although I can see the potential for conflict when the paying guest told me to get out of their bed when I was all warm and comfy womfy in there and had done all the hard work to get that way.

Secondly, perhaps the hotel  should go one step further and get celebrity lookalikes to make the bed hot, hot , hot. I’d book George Clooney and Hugh Jackman to loll on my mattress every time.

Thirdly, do they screen for lice, fleas and crabs, yellow dandruff,  belly button fluff ,nose debris and anything wet  that human bedwarmers might leave behind between the covers ?

And lastly,  do they have a bespoke service for menopausal women who require bedchillers to counteract hot flushes ?

10 comments to Whose Bed Is It Anyway ?

  • What a fantastic job—— I would love the job. I was wondering if TWO people are employed for a double bed warming? The mind boggles at the thought of how many are lying/writhing in a king/queen bed. Also, are you instructed to lie still, move your arms and legs like a star jump but lying down? It goes without saying that you can’t lie on your side or face down on the pillow as this would promote familiarity with the client not to mention exchange of bodily fluids ! What do you wear? Probably a CSI type suit . How do you know when to leave? —– minutes before they enter the room, as they enter or do you wait and unwrap the chocolate, that you resisted gobbling, hand it to them while slithering out of the bed and room commando style? I,m going to have to find out more as this has me hooked.

  • Julie Pereira

    I think it’s positively disgusting that a complete stranger looking like Rip van Winkle would be in MY bed getting it warm. The only benefit of the hotel introducing this I now know never to book a night in one of them, ever. Yuk, yuk, yuk. Great marketing though even though the idea is totally mad.

  • May

    I wouldn’t need a human bedwarmer.
    How about a stranger to get into bed with you in the morning to ensure you actually got up?…Like a Human Alarm Clock.

  • Molly

    Julie I completely agree, I hope this idea doesn’t catch on or soon Lenny Henry’s new tv ad will be telling us he personally warms up the Premier Inn beds. The idea is a kin to leaving the warm sheets on from previous guests simply to help you fall asleep 20minutes quicker – I can safely say I would prefer to wait those cold minutes out.
    I only fear what is next, perhaps toilet seat warmers…!!

  • Anna May

    Moya, they probably suck your chocolate a bit to soften it and warm it up before putting it back in the box!

    Julie, so you’ve NEVER been in bed woith a stranger ?

    May….and a human teasmade.

    Molly – TOILET SEAT WARMERS ? Genius idea!

    Anna May x

  • Aimee

    Anna,

    Your son told me rather bluntly in an email today: ‘Jesus Aimee, get a job’ Upon seeing this post – I think this job would suit me well. Personally I list sleeping and napping as my top two favourite past-times.

    However, when Hotels realise that electric blankets do an excellent job and avoid the potential hygiene problems listed above, I would be made redundant – on the plus side such a thing would make me aware of the redundancy procedure – surely making it listable as ‘experience’ on most employment law firm applications……?

    Let it be known, I’m not a layabout, I’m a postgraduate law student at this moment in time – hence your son’s comment about getting a job – after learning that most of this afternoon was spent on YouTube…..!

    Loving the blog Mrs Anna May.

    Aimee D

  • Anna May

    Hello and welcome Aimee.
    ‘Get a job’is a phrase my son learnt at his mother’s knee. I am so happy he remembers my words of wisdom!
    So glad you like the blog, please pass it on……
    Anna May x

  • How can you mention George Clooney and yellow dandruff in the same blog post? Sacrilege.

  • Anna May

    Fran, you are so right. I will ask him to spank me next time we meet.
    Anna May x

  • Ginny Willis

    I had to check the date again as I thought perhaps it could be the first of April!

    Sorry for the delay in reading up your blogs – I was way behind wasn’t I?

    I am now wiping up the puddle from under my chair……..instead of you making me laugh so much I cried – instead I peed.

    xx