I had 23 minutes before they closed and spent 12 of those dousing myself in  Bobbi Brown and Versace fragrances and chose…… a  3 in 1 body spray, room spray and linen spray from M&S in Lavender.  The smell not the colour. I sprinted into M&S after it was officially closed for teabags , sliding in Bourne Identity style beneath the descending shutters, and came out with a signature multi purpose pong generator and it only cost £6.   If it had been a 4 in 1 and I could have brewed tea with it as well  that would have been perfect. I will let you know if  it attracts any compliments. 

My brand new computer is upsetting me. It does a weird thing when I am typing – the size of the text zooms up and down  and makes me feel like I am typing on a  merry go-round.

I called the helpline of the computer company  and spoke to a Senior Enhanced  Customer Consultation and Communication Experience Executive who even I had to admit sounded more frazzled than me. He put me on hold immediately after he’d said “Hello” and after several minutes of  an orchestral arrangement of ‘Simply the Best’ crackling down the line the man  returned and was all out of breath.

He said, ” I am so very sorry. I have been having big trouble with my tool and I needed to refresh it. This required me to go elsewhere and use two hands which is why I had to temporarily interrupt your call. How may I help ?”

I love call centres.