Strictly Shaping Up

If they ever do a remake of The Woodentops then Tess Daly must be a shoo-in for a leading role. Week on week she proves that it wasn’t the bumbling Brucie that held her back from being a bright and interesting TV presenter, it’s the fact that she is a personality free zone. And her […]

Strictly Glum Dancing

First things first – Tess Greyly has developed a really irritating habit of repeating, in the style of Les Dawson, what the judges have to say to the cooples. Write her some lines of her own, somebody please.

Meanwhile, on the dance floor it was a moody and not at all magnificent night.

Tis a […]

Strictly Pancake Week

So Will Young has flounced off and then there were, in Tesstalk (quick fake smile) 12 cooples left on Strictly.

It was mostly pancake week. As in flat as…..

Greg and Natalie did a so what Salsa.

Laura Quickstepped with her head chucked back so far that I thought she was counting the lightbulbs.

Anastacia […]

Strictly Ziggy Zaggy Bobs

Caroline Flack is 35! I put her at least ten years younger. I am getting me a ziggy-zaggy bob and a fringed frock for Christmas so I can turn back time, too.

In the end I switched horses and wanted Mark Wright to win – even though his partner Karen made me feel bilious with […]

Brucie and Big Bird

Woo hoo , Strictly’s back!

Tess came as Big Bird. Brucie is one more mistimed gag away from a bath chair/checked rug combo, and Darcey lost her hairbrush.

The wonderful-wonderful Dave Archer looks lean and mean for this series, and he so needs sequins on those headphones.

I predict Aliona will have a lot of […]

Ballroom Bliss

I’m back!

But much better news is that Strictly is back. And what a feast it was – no cheese required tonight. It’s pure cruelty that we have to wait three weeks to clap eyes on them all again.

First impressions are:

Abbey Clancy hearts Abbey Clancy

Deborah Meaden doesn’t know what embarrassment is

James […]

Strictly Frizz

Tess’s dress last night looked it came from a curtain warehouse, and does that woman get paid a salary or is she on commission for every gurny face – kindly, sympatico amazed, amused,surprised, emabrarrassed – she pulls during the live broadcast?

Let me tell you a Strictly secret. Anita Dobson is 62. Yes she is […]

Strictly Sensational 2011

It’s going to be a VINTAGE year, I can tell already.

Tonight’s theme was game old birds: Tess Daly wore a Sesame Street big bird jumpsuit and introduced Dolly Parton who was dressed in Mother Goose style gauchos.

Edwina Currie was done up as half Queen Mother and half showgirl. Lulu is clearly this […]

Miriam Rocks

I hope that 51 year old Miriam O’ Reilly’s successful age discrimation case against the BBC means that the era of Beauty and the Beast TV presenter pairings on ALL channels is over.

When working on a BBC TV show Ms O Reilly was offered a can of black hair dye and told to […]

Strictly Balls and Bedsheets

It was a wobbly weekend on Strictly. Pamela looked doughty and now a doubtful winner. Anne was a flopper girl and my guess is she’s running out of old gal power, and as for poor Michelle – it was like watching an ironing board waltz. Gavin had a ball. Yes, really he did. And he […]