Strictly Jiggling Jake

He might look like a corpse dipped in glitter but Jake Wood and his jelly hipped Samba might have nicked Strictly 2014 from under the cute button noses of Pixie and Frankie.

Karen over emoted very unconvincingly when she and Mark got all 8’s from the judges for their Tango. Their next dance should […]

Strictly Slump

Zoe, Claudia and Tess – if there was a presenter-off instead of a dance-off I reckon the judges and the public would vote to eliminate Tess. She’s stiffer than Judy Murray and takes herself a LOT more seriously.

This week there was a dancing dip – a kind of post halloween/pre Blackpool sleepy hollow.

Two […]


Strictly gave good lips and gums this week.

Scott Mills has lips that would out pout Katie Price and Pixie and Trent should get a pale pink glitterball trophy for having the best gums of all the 2014 contestants.

Tango this way for my summary of last night’s show and I predict that Cant-Win-Tim […]

Strictly Goes T’Pictures

It was movie week on Strictly and there was a whole lot more corn than pop going on.

For my full round up please quickstep this way…….

Strictly Happy – George Sad

It’s going to be a VINTAGE Strictly year. The first shows were so good that fora nanosecond I stopped grieving about this being the weekend when George Clooney marries divine international human rights lawyer, and wearer of big earrings, Amal Alamuddin.

Let’s romp through the dances in no particular order. No, stuff that, let start […]

A Bye Bye Brucie Bonus

So Brucie is leaving Strictly. Let’s all pretend to be sad……

OK, I’m over it already.

Now they need to do is get rid of the dead-behind-the-eyes bedsheet wearing Tess Daly and inject a bit of pizz-azz into the proceeding with one of the following combos:

Claudia the speed talking fringe and Rylan Clark

Janet […]

Here Come the Gals

So, just the girly-whirlies are left in Strictly. I will miss Patrick’s bum very much, in particular how it was situated so close to his kidneys and had a rhythm all of it’s own.

Big gob Brendan might blow it for Sophie if he doesn’t keep his cool with the judges. He arrives at their […]

Strictly Piles and Delia

My analysis of this week’s Strictly is that grumpmeister Len must have piles.

Poor Susanna and Kevinfromheneverevengotstarted – they were out of the Swingathon before they’d even swung. And she’s gorgeous, so why do her seeeexxxxy moves make me wish she’d put a cardigan on?

Where is the eye contact between Natalie and Artem? I […]

Strictly Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

I am all gay man when it comes to musicals. My proof is that I have seen Les Miserables eight times and can singalonga to evrything in the West End. So Strictly AND Musicals? Best night everever.

Panya’s Charleston was a real smilealong dance. Can’t be snitty about Chitty. But er, Craig can. An 8???????


Strictly Fainting, Gussetts and No Crackers


All the contestants are desperate to make it to the Tower Ballroom next week but frankly I don’t give a damn because viewing Strictly from Blackpool is like watching two ants dance on a dinner plate.

What Lies Beneath? Not the film, but Ben Cohen. Objectifying him was last night’s Strictly treat as I […]