He’s not hunky, but the little bloke is giving a very silly competition his all.  So I confess I momentarily forgot he looks like a  clog dancing corgi  and dialled the number.  I’m at the point in my cycle where my thinking is fuzzy wuzzy. Next week I may attack my TV with a sequinned mallet so I don’t have to watch Chris dancing. The menopause is never dull.

Dancy Bussell made a holy show of everyone else who has ever boogied on Strictly. I suspect that woman eats rubber bands for breakfast.

I’m sad that Ali couldn’t release her inner pole dancer and make it to the final. She’s the sort of girl who would have a kitten, a thermal vest and slippers with pom poms on her family crest. I bet she has mini pink gerbera daisies where her nipples should be.