It was all quite predictable in a  ’Mr Get ‘Em Off!’ meets ‘Ms Button Up Your Cardigan’ way. I even invented a new word for the young women who choose to compete in these cheek to cheek booty contests and called them ‘Dimbos’ – but I’m feeling a bit guilty today. If those  women want to strut their stuff in stilettos and a sequinned swimsuit why should I sneer at them? Can you hear my conscience stirring?

Beauty competitions are cheesey and take me right back down a time tunnel to 1960′s TV. I remember ‘Opportunity Knocks’ and the contestant who spent three prime time minutes banging himself on the head with a tin tray to the tune of the national anthem. Pointless but very entertaining.

Maybe Miss England is now actually kitsch and has evolved into a heritage pursuit. Perhaps every swimsuit on parade should have a blue plaque attached. Am I taking the objectification of women far too seriously?!  Maybe I am not Ms Feminist North West London but Miss The Point?