I didn’t wake her up. The telephone ringing did . She opened her eyes and stared at it, and tutted loudly. I was stood at the reception desk, within arm’s reach of the ‘phone, waiting to book in. “Shall I answer it?” I ask. She tutted again and shook her head and began to  travel by chair towards the phone. 

Finally she got there and answered it, but didn’t speak. For a looooong time she listened and then droned “Pardon?” I heard an agitated sounding voice on the other end of the line. “Pardon?” she repeated and then,  clearly beyond bored, she hung up the receiver. Another giant tut.

I tell her my name and my medical notes are fished out from a pile. Still using her chair to move around Flinstone Yabadabadoo style( but in slow motion) she crosses the room and places my folder on a stainless steel trolley outside a consulting room. She nods me to the waiting area, indicating I should sit there.

Three people came after me and she tuttted some more, and chair travelled to lay their notes on top of mine.

 I had to ask. She was back against the wall  with her eyes closed and I woke her with the question, “Do the Doctors take the notes from the top or the bottom of that pile over there on the trolley?”

“Top.” Then she shut her eyes again. So I went and  justice-shuffled the notes into time  of arrival order. The other people sat waiting and watching but didn’t challenge me, or try and stack  them back the way they were. That was a relief because I didn’t want a scuffle.

As I left after seeing the Doctor I bid Nurse Narcolepsy a cheery good morning. But she was alseep and didn’t hear me. And the ‘phone was ringing again.