Strictly Happy – George Sad

It’s going to be a VINTAGE Strictly year. The first shows were so good that fora nanosecond I stopped grieving about this being the weekend when George Clooney marries divine international human rights lawyer, and wearer of big earrings, Amal Alamuddin.

Let’s romp through the dances in no particular order. No, stuff that, let start […]

Dishes and Dulls

Luvvie Land (the BAFTAs) was on BBC1 last night. Two hours of Dullsville. And that’s coming from me, a woman who could watch a roomful of movie stars sleeping and still be thrilled silly.

There wasn’t an award for comedy but if there had been it would have gone to Paloma Faith. She came to […]

Scream and Shout

I screamed for my life in bed at 4am this morning. The force of my yell made the hair on my husband’s back sway – yet still he claims he didn’t hear a thing.

The reason I screamed out ? Our highly trained and intelligent dog, by some distance the best behaved and most intelligent […]

Silly Billy

I didn’t get a even a half decent frock, shoe or jewellery hit from The Oscars last night because so many of my favourites only appeared in the ‘Popped Off This Year’ tribute.

Talking of corpses – what has Billy Crystal done to his face? It looked steamrollered. As a compere he did a good […]

Happy Buffday Georgeous

Georgeous Clooney was 50 this week and oh how we, I, celebrated! On the day I managed a second apricot custard Danish for elevenses and sangwhisphered him a fantasy rich version of Happy Birthday to Youhoomahdahling…..

Georgeous gets craggier and lovelier by the year whilst so many women of the same age, in and […]

Getting My Oats

Yesterday I made an oriental woman scream with fright , clutch her chest and say “velly scaywee” three times in a row. She had to be helped to a chaise longue and given a glass of orange blossom water to recover.

I was enjoying a la-di-dah day spa in London, courtesy of some gift vouchers, […]

Nicole/Papa/Pyjamas

Last night I was on BBC Radio 5 Live defending a man’s right to wear pyjamas. Guy Ritchie is apparently guilty of a crime against good taste because he was photographed on his doorstep in jim jams earlier this week. He was waving off his gorgeous new girlfriend at the time. She is umpteen years […]

Sky High

Two men came to my house today and turned me on, and about time too.

My Sky TV blew up ten days ago and I have been ‘without functionality’ since. This meant that a programme that lasted an hour actually took an hour to watch – I was without recording or fast forwarding or pausing […]

Stars and Stripey Pyjamas

Overall I declare it dull this year – but not dull enough to duvet dive any time before dawn. I watched the lot and passed my husband on the stairs at six o clock this morning when he was on his way down and off to work. My job, watching the 2010 Oscars, was done. […]

White or Wrong ?

I had a big ding dong on the radio last night with Julian Bennett from the TV programme ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’. His views on what women MUST do to stay attractive for their men were yabadabadoo stone age stuff.

Julian’s Eleventh Commandment decrees that furry pits, hairy legs, getting old, not dyeing […]