Maybe Tess could tell Brucie to shut the fook up mid feeble gag - or not gurn for, say, thirty seconds at least? Or Dave Arch and his band could  be not wonderful, just the once?

Robbie came over all born again after being booted out - he has been emoting in TV interviews that, thanks to Strictly, the British public have seen a different side of him. Yes Robbie they have. Your back -side.  He claims he is a better man after the intensive spray tanning, sequins and stripping. With those words Robbie just snatched this year’s Gary Rhodes Delusional Dancer Award  from Edwina Currie.

Alex cannot win just by being very Welsh indeed, boyo.

I reckon the other contestants were even greener than Pasha after his and Chelsee’s jive, which was brilleeeeeeeeeeeeant.

I hope Jason is mainlining Santaogen. He’s going to need that and more to make the final.

The poor woman should have got a free pass from the BBC for this year as compensation for being paired up with Gary Rhodes, the highly strung dancing wardrobe, last season.

And I am gutted that Richard Madeley isn’t giving Strictly a go-go, as was reported. There is no combination more delicious than self adoration and public humiliation – he’s the man.