It was taking a long time –  with him this means he’s asleep or watching Braveheart again - OR that there is  a problem.

I went to find him and he was at the laptop having a great time scrolling through hundreds of photos -  none of them of me. His push bike was photographed from every angle, the dog was snapped in various poses -  awake asleep and covered in mud. There was even a blocked toilet (I didn’t ask) and a shot of his favourite kebab shop.

“Where am I?” I asked.

He looked aghast. I think  he thought I was having memory or existential issues.

“Photographs of me. Where are they ?”

“I was short on disk space so I think I may have deleted you” he confessed.

You know that saying about happy marriages –  that a couple should never let the sun set on a disagreement? Well my version of that is that you should never accept an apology until the season has changed.  We are officially not speaking.

Unless until he finds a  recent photograph of me that makes me look like Nicole Kidman.