I am a veggie so the thought of toting around a dead crocodile has no appeal. And the idea of spending £24,000 on any bag, animal vegetable or mineral,  makes me giddy.

It’s a Birkin.  I thought a Birkin was a pubic hair wig until a friend corrected me, that item is, in fact, called  a merkin. Get that right before you hit Harvey Nichols.

But take heart. Birkins hold their value and even second hand, oops sorry, that would be ‘vintage’ bags can sell for double their original cost.

This gets crazier because some shops which sell these exclusive bags insist that they will only permit  them to go  non smoking homes. Apparently having a fag near such a bag  is…… Birkin abuse.