Where were Brangelina? And Tom and Katie? And Nicole and Keith? There was a lot of sparkle missing. I felt that I made the effort, I wore a diamonique brooch on my stripey pyjamas, so why couldn’t they be there?

‘Nood’ was the dress shade trend. Or nude if you are British, which was rood if you’d  been waiting up all night for some astonishing splashes of colour.

Sarah Jessica Parker was wearing a sex game inspired dress that had a strangely placed strap around her throat and was just an orange and a plastic bag away from, well,   I don’t know but I’ve read about it…..

J Lo seemed to have an occasional table hidden under the left hand side of her oddity  dress. She could do a cover of Jake the Peg wearing it as there was plently of room for a third leg under there.. 

Melanie Griffiths had snipped a couple of stitches on top of her head so she could smile with her  (sponsored by Walls Sausages) plastic fantastic lips. 

Someone needs to tell Colin Firth that  John Frieda  Frizz-Ease is currently 3 for 2 at Superdrug. And why does he have teeth the colour of daffodils?

Claudia Winkleman chatted with her panel of experts in the Sky Studios in London. One was David Baddiel who mostly answered her inane questions with, “I can’t say, I haven’t seen the film.” And Ronnie Ancona was too fascinated by what she looked like on the studio monitors to discuss anything sensibly. She was horribly self conscious and tried hard, for five whole hours,  to be a glammapuss but didn’t get anywhere near.

Gorgeous George was there in the front row with his girlfriend. She was a bit proprietorial for my liking. It was the way she sat next to him I objected to.

I’m resting up from today in preparation for 2011.