Anna May Mangan's Writing News » Alesha Dixon

Strictly Spooky and Stilton

Anna May — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 00:44:27 +0000

Alesha was wrapped in a blanket on last night’s Strictly – I just hope it’s a travel blanket and that she is going far, far away very soon. She’s devaluing a 10 score so frequently I think the producers should introduce a 10* for the remainder of this series.

Russell danced first this week and the cutesy spell has finally worn off for me. He’s starting to look like a one trick carthorse.

If a double wardrobe could dance it would be known as Audley Harrison.

Nancy Noknickers was doomed from her first hip waggle - she owes me 15p for last week’s vote and her demise to Anton who has been far too willing to help her make a fool of herself. Shame on him.

When Doris Savage did the cloak waving part of the Paso Doble he reminded me that I needed to change my duvet cover. Last week he crashed his nose into the TV camera so this week he took extra care and cupped his extremities to prevent breakages. Cue Craig luvvin it.

Anita was dreary and Chelsee teary and Lulu wafted about in a maternity dress looking not at all bewitched but definitely bewildered.

And I hope how very dare she Princess Beatrice applied on-line months ago for her seat in the Strictly audience. Seeing her sat there when I have never,ever managed to get a ticket made me so envious it put me right off my stilton with apricots and crackers.

Strictly Smiling

Anna May — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 21:27:30 +0000

This week in Strictly there was a lot of smiling to music as a substitute for actually dancing. Not at all surprised Dan Whoeverhewas was voted off – he was the worst cultprit for mixing up beaming with boogying.

The camera caught Alesha Dixon checking herself in the monitor several times during both Saturday and Sunday’s show - I hope she saw what I did. That she clearly isn’t bovvered any more. And I bet it wasn’t her scoring paddles she went for under the table after Bruno lunged at her during his critique of Dan’s dance to Queen’s ‘Somebody to-ooo-ooo-ooo Love’

Russell made me weep with the sheer joy of his dance. He seems to be stepping out the letters to ‘I am so glad to be alive’ as he skips around the dance floor and I LOVE him for trying so hard and for the way he follows Flavia every move with his puppy eyes.

And waddabout Jason? Guilty as charged I am a Priscilla-aholic, but even if I wasn’t his Tango was my my abandon the crackers and St Agur to give a standing ovation moment of the night.

I’m guessing staff The Priory are busy turning down the bed for Nancy – she is having a slow dawning that she is a sex siren only in her head ( although that is a very big place indeed) and not a championi dancer, either. Just shows that a good leg scissor action doesn’t transfer from Sven’s bedroom to the dance floor.

Anita Dobson and her teeth did a great jive. Husband Brian May wasn’t in the audience this Saturday. Could it be haircut night when chainsaws, incinerators, teams of strong men in protective clothing are paid danger money to get his frizz mountain under control?

And Robbie Savage looks like Doris Day with stubble.

Strictly Balls and Bedsheets

Anna May — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 17:03:28 +0000

It was a wobbly weekend on Strictly. Pamela looked doughty and now a doubtful winner. Anne was a flopper girl and my guess is she’s running out of old gal power, and as for poor Michelle – it was like watching an ironing board waltz. Gavin had a ball. Yes, really he did. And he finally proved that his brain and his tush are connected….a bumthrough! Ssssccccottttt’s face told me he wanted to scoot before the music for his dance even started last night. Maybe he still has mucous from last week.

I have questions. Why did Tess look at though she ‘d jumped out of bed and ran to the Strictly set wound up in a pink bedsheet? And could someone please tell Alesha that it would be wicked if she lost the 80′s style big hair and shiny lips? Oh, and can a bolero ever look good on a man?

Strictly Shrieking

Anna May — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 20:35:52 +0000

Bee Gee-pers creepers ! The Gibb brothers looked freshly dug up on last night’s Strictly. Listening to them shrieking as if their testicles were being crushed in a clamp fashioned by the devil himself was halloween hell-arious.

Highlights from last night were Alesha suggesting that Chris should tape his mouth shut……….lead by example pleassssse.

Can deluded actors dance ? Discuss. Craig.

Ricky Groves has started to take himself seriously which is a shame especially when he danced last night like he was being followed around the dance floor by a swarm of bees on a go-slow.

I have knocked a red sequinned jumpsuit - with plunging neckline and cut away sides - off the list of outfits that I planned to buy for a bit of Christmas partying. Two reasons: I’d have to Immac my midriff and the lovely lithe Orla looked like a tomato coloured huffalump in hers.