Strictly Seven Go to Blackpool

 

It’s Musicals week so they let Anton, who can’t hold a tune in a bucket, sing us in….?

Then on came Tess even though she’d clearly put her head through the armhole of her dress…?

What could possibly go right after that?

Ore went off the Strictly boil after his jive a few weeks […]

Strictly Shaping Up

If they ever do a remake of The Woodentops then Tess Daly must be a shoo-in for a leading role. Week on week she proves that it wasn’t the bumbling Brucie that held her back from being a bright and interesting TV presenter, it’s the fact that she is a personality free zone. And her […]

Strictly So So

Halloween hi jinks hack me right off, and the only thing that was scary about Strictly Week 6 was just how bad some of the dances were….

Louise Redknapp needs to let rip. She’s nice but……buttoned up. I prescribe a bottle of Jacob’s Creek Rose as a cure.

Judge Rinder’s nipples were presented to the […]

Strictly Glum Dancing

First things first – Tess Greyly has developed a really irritating habit of repeating, in the style of Les Dawson, what the judges have to say to the cooples. Write her some lines of her own, somebody please.

Meanwhile, on the dance floor it was a moody and not at all magnificent night.

Tis a […]

Strictly Pancake Week

So Will Young has flounced off and then there were, in Tesstalk (quick fake smile) 12 cooples left on Strictly.

It was mostly pancake week. As in flat as…..

Greg and Natalie did a so what Salsa.

Laura Quickstepped with her head chucked back so far that I thought she was counting the lightbulbs.

Anastacia […]

Strictly Popcorn

I do love a good theme and Cinema Week was just the ticket:

Daisy Whowe’s quickstep was , er, I can’t remember. But I know she smiled a lot.

I get it, I get it – Anastacia is brave and is battling on.

Danny did a Mac-nificent Paso. Oti got the dress dud of the […]

Strictly Smiley Love

OK first things first – why was Katie Derham’s husband wearing a comic for the final?

And there are more questions than answers:

How come Len and Bruno declared Kellie as their winner before voting was closed? Aren’t the judges they supposed to be Switzerland?

Why was Jay and Aliona’s showdance a no-dance? It was […]

Strictly Seaside

Can I just say that Peter Andre starts every sentence with “Can I just say…” and that it makes my gills tighten with irritation. Being in the bottom two is going to make him creep for his Strictly life, which is going to be painful to watch.

Jamelia finally got voted out – I ‘ve […]

Strictly Fireworks

Dancing that bouncy, flippy Charleston Peter Andre was finally as good as he thinks he’s been right from the start of the series.

Carol is so dreary and in their lift poor Pasha looked like a nurse hauling his elderly patient out of bed to sit her on the commode.

Helen Rumbaed with Alijaz. I […]

Strictly Horny

It was a scary week for me on Strictly because even as an uber fan I was much more interested in my cheese – manchego and somerset brie – and crackers than the mostly mediocre dancing.

Katie is getting clobbered week in week out by the judges and, although I am not Little Miss Wrinklenose’s […]