Week 1 – Strictly Mystery ‘Celebrities’

Ooops – I am a week late to the party – but what about Strictly 2016? It’s like Strictly Come Dancing mixed with Surprise Surprise. I mean, who are these people?

Week 1 thoughts:

I predict plenty of kissy kissy for Laura NeverClappedEyesonHer and Giovanni

Nagawhowhat? and Pasha  are already a bit of a bore off. I reckons she’s the sort of gal who irons her knickers

Judge Rinder’s  ha-ha-ha Cha-Cha-Cha blew my telly up. I LOVE him and his little Russian psychopot Oksana

Lesley and Anton? Sponsored by Nice and Easy Hair Dye

GimmeacluewhoisOray?  and Joanne were cute. And forgettable

Greg Rutherford needs a lesson at the Judge Rinder Academy of Lively Facial Expressions – never has a mouth been so open to impress so few

Louise is smiley wiley and a good dancer but a bit of a ringer as she’s been in a dancy pop band.

Melvin’s shirt gave me a headache, and who is he by the way?

Daisyneverclappedeyesonher Lowe got a 9? Baffled.com

DannywhotheheckisheMac? and Oti are this year’s firecrackers. I’ve put £5 on him to win and the bloke in the betting shop said “Who is  this bloke, then?” I rest my case

Who is cacklehead Tameka? Hilarious and game and all that but will she get on the nation’s nerves?

Anastacia and Brendan tried to be sexy but could do with being more flexy

Every seen a baked potato dance? I give you Ed Balls

Claudia and AJ are the first ever contestants to have escaped from Nursery to take part in Strictly. Fun fact: they like to share a mashed banana before the show

Will Young is cool. Let’s see what happens when the judges shred him.











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