Strictly Horny

It was a scary week for me on Strictly because even as an uber fan I was much more interested in my cheese – manchego and somerset brie – and crackers than the mostly mediocre dancing.

Katie is getting clobbered week in week out by the judges and, although I am not Little Miss Wrinklenose’s biggest fan, I can’t see what she’s doing to deserve such low scores.

Does Kirsty G have a Mum? A best friend? A sister? Because iF she does they are not doing their job, so I’ll do it for them. KIRSTY QUIT THE MOANING AND GROANING AND WHINGING AND FACE PULLING AND ME ME ME  STUFF AND TRY  SMILING AND BEING GRACIOUS. IF YOU DON’T FEEL IT, FAKE IT.

Jeremy Vine’s Salsa was a hoot and a holler and I loved his dontgiveadamn white socks and too short bellbottoms combo.

Anita’s horns were tonight’s star attraction.

Jamelia dances like she’s bored. Me too when I am watching her.

Jay’s American Smooth was. Very.

Carol. Sedative. Play the word association game….

Diarrhoea green? Only the gorgeous Georgia Foote could have looked good in that outfit.

Peter Andre had done the same moves with the same facial expression for the past 5 weeks. This week he did the creepy crawly, and that was after he danced. Next week could one of the judges please reply “No” when Peter starts to simper “Can I just say how much I value/appreciate/respect ….”

Helen George rehearsed her Samba wearing a two willy headband.  And her hair reminded me to put Frizz-Ease on my shopping list.

 

 

 

 

 

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