Strictly Take Off

Ten minutes into Strictly and it was a case of Brucie who? It was only when he wasn’t there that I realised just how much he had slowed the show down.

I’ve dumped Claudess for Tessia to describe the lashes and lips combo of Tess and Claudia. I liked them last night even though Claudia seemed to be having an out of body experience and kept a too beady eye on the autocue.

And so the line up lined up:

Boiled egg head Gregg was obvs the booby prize for the female pros – and Aliona carried on like her puppy had died when she was paired with him. Doesn’t she know that the first rule of Strictly is that you carry on like you’ve won the euromillions when you’ve been paired with a fat, bald lech?

Jake Wood is aptly named for Strictly. And what a great skull he has for Halloween week. The first look at him in the group dance suggests he is an early contender for the 2014 Fiona Phillips Dance Like a Fridge Freezer Award. And gosh isn’t Jeanette fizzy. This could be explained by the fact that she is Alijash’s bedmate.

Wildlife bloke to dull to merit a sentence other than is Ola wasted on him?

Thom needs to stand up straight so we can get a good look at his navel and surrounds.

New dancer Joanne from Grimsby (Kevin’s sister) is small and mighty

Which brings us to Alison Hammond who is mighty smiley

Rachel Riley must be thrilled her Pasha got the short shorts wearing Caroline Flack

When Irish legs are dancing – I predict Jennifer and Tristan will be a good laff

Pixie and Trent – blonde bombshells of the world unite

Simon Webb says he’s there to win and is the 62nd sexiest man alive. Yawn.

Tim Wonacott will answer one of the great unsolved mysteries of the universe – how do you stop your glasses sliding off your nose when you sweat

Who is the Pilsbury Dough boy they called Scott Mills?

Mark Abitofallwright got Karen, Judy Murray is going to be ballsy and I’m liking Sunetra

How did Frankie get time off school to do Strictly?

Smokey Robinson and Dot Cotton – spot the difference?

And the group dance made the year’s wait worth it. The fear, the footfaults, the terrified smiles and having a poo faces – it was short but so sweet.

3 comments to Strictly Take Off

  • Jan

    I absolutely agree about Brucie, the show is infinitely better without him. I thought Tessia did a much better job of it.

    I particularly liked Jennifer Gibney (Liz McDonald looky-likey)but was left wondering who was looking after the bar at The Rovers Return whilst she was dancing.

    I love your Fiona Phillips award, very funny.

  • Anna May

    Hi Jan

    Yes Jennifer was really likeable because she seems she won’t take herseldf too seriously and now you’ve pointed it out she is separated at birth from Liz MaccieD, so she is

    Fiona Phillips will always be my all time favourite contestant

    Anna May x

  • Julie Mangan

    I so don’t want to watch Strictly but once I saw the opening show, that’s me in for the series. I didn’t know half the contestants but who cares?!