Beach Baby

Having had four babies in three years I know all about the post-partum period and it’s thrills and , ahem, spills.  Characteristics include a  jelly belly, extreme knackerisation,  eyebags the size and colour of coal sacks and boobs that spurt like the Trevi fountain.

So what I want to know is how  Lauren Silverman, baby Eric Cowell’s Mummy,  just 5 days after delivering can, according to  photos in the Daily Mail, be into spray on tight leather trousers?  Where is her new-mommy-nappy hiding?  The woman’s eye liner is perfectly applied and her hair actually brushed up into a ponytail?

And if that wasn’t enough to be baffled by,  the very next day more pictures appeared of the new family on a beach in Miami. In these Mum and Dad are having a little snog, their dog is having a lick of the baby’s face and  the newborn is sucking on a bottle of milk that no-one is holding. It’s just stuffed into his mouth. Lauren’s wafting around in some baby-dollesque number and Simon is topless. It ‘s like a celebrity version of Shameless

I know they are uber-loaded and in their luxury homes there are maternity nurses swinging off the chandeliers in every room – but Lauren and Simon should try spending a day in their dressing gowns, sat on a sofa and taking turns to nuzzle their newborn. In private. It’s a  million billion trillion dollar feeling.



1 comment to Beach Baby

  • Glenda Willis

    Do you think she was ‘too posh to push’ and so revivered (that was a spelling mistake but when I read it, it looked like a cross between recovered and revived).

    How you noticed all those things in the newspaper. I must have rose tinted glasses.