You might think I am daft but I love this joke:

A three-legged dog walks into a Saloon in the Wild West. He tells all the cowboys sat there, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”

Beach Baby

Having had four babies in three years I know all about the post-partum period and it’s thrills and , ahem, spills. Characteristics include a jelly belly, extreme knackerisation, eyebags the size and colour of coal sacks and boobs that spurt like the Trevi fountain.

So what I want to know is how Lauren Silverman, baby […]

Prostrate Parking


On Saturday I drove to to the little fringe theatre , parked nicely and neatly and legally on their forecourt and Mr Anna May and I quick-stepped in from the wind and the rain to collect our tickets.

In the queue for the box office I began was counting down in my head until […]

Poncy Bonkers


It was BAFTA night 2014! So I slapped on some sparkly eyeliner , popped a cocktail umbrella into my Ovaltine and settled down for a night with the stars.

I was yearning glitz and glamour but instead got Stephen Fry who is looking very much like a bloodhound these days. He spoke mostly in […]

Cereal Girl


So I was pouring porridge into my saucepan this morning and I noticed the photo of the Quaker Oats bloke on the box, and it occurred to me I had seen him somewhere else this week.

He was the Grammys dressed as Madonna! And here is the evidence….