It was spookylicious on Strictly tonight , and my sofa snack was an eyeball dipped in snot. Yes, I have been busy baking.
Patrick has perked up much, and I am liking his smiley wiley work these days.
Fiona has a gripper in her knickers that is keeping her dancing dial stuck on sickly sweet and much too Surrey. If she stays this week after that Charleston it’ll be because people are voting for Anton.
Ben’s dance Paso’d me by because I was transfixed by his nips.
Sophie should have got praise for looking ultra groovy like Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction, but sadly she danced like a Woodentop. If you are old enough to remember The Woodentops treat yourself to a Sanatogen. Sophie is on a Strictly journey - travelling backwards.
Natalie’s visit to Lourdes for her back problem must have paid off. Can smug be miraculously cured, too?
Mark ate all the pumpkin pie and it finally got him moving this week. He was wearing Humpty Dumpty’s space cadet Onesie, and Yvetta wasn’t dressed at all. Bonkers.
Rachel stepped it up for her American Smooth. At no point in their dance did Pasha look like he was shifting a fridge freezer. Big woohoo to her for putting up a fight on fright night.
Ashley, in dancing talk, is running on the spot. No better no worse but definitely more forgettable.
This week Aljaz danced the Rumba wearing my Aunty Nora’s best blouse, only she buttons it up. I am guessing that Peter Crouch is very busy on the phones voting for all the other contestants. Anything to get his wife out of Mr Drop Dead Gorgeous’s arms. Abbey says Aljaz is like her little brother. Someone call Social Services. Quick.
Why is Dave surprised when the judges tell him he is rubbish? And what’s so scary about Danny Baker and why did Dave come to the Halloween special as him? Dave should soon join John Sergeant and Anne Widdecombe in the Strictly Hall of Lame.
Major panic this morning when I couldn’t find my tweezers so Kevin’s werewolf beard really made me tremble. Been there, plucked that.