A Pong Story

I was sick into my lap as I drove my car this afternoon.

Mr Anna May, who can’t drive at the moment since his hip replacement surgery, was helpful and held a  carrier bag under my chin. But it was tricky because he was retching himself. And the carrier bag had holes in it.

The trigger for the puking was stood on the back seat and wagging his tail.

Half an hour earlier Mr Anna May and I had been enjoying an afternoon cup of tea and a cream slice apiece. This is an essential  part of his daily convalescence routine.

Just as I raised my mug of tea to my lips the dog leapt up, evidently uncomfortable, and started to yelp and turn in circles.  My husband commented how  liquid was leaking from his (the dog’s not Mr Anna May’s) bottom. And the  kitchen suddenly smelt like  fart bomb blended with stale patchouli oil and wheely bin juice.

I called the vet who said come immediately and transferring the dog and his smell from a big kitchen into a small car meant we both retched  for 3 miles. In bad traffic.

To cut a pong story short the dog needed his anal glands milked. Yes, you read that correctly.

To carry out this manoeuvre ( cost, £85) the vet decided he would glove up and bend forward from the waist to do the deed while the dog  was stood on the floor. I suggested it might be easier if the dog was positioned on the treatment table, but the vet poo-pooed that idea……

Eyes.Glands.Jets.Howls.Screams.Smells.Shrieks.Painkillers.Apologies.

 

2 comments to A Pong Story

  • Julie

    Ido feel sorry for you bt I feel sorrier for the dog having to be manhandled by the vet! I hope he’s better. I would have vomited on the dog.

  • I sympathize:) I have come very, very close to vomiting whilst cleaning up animal excrement on a number of occasions. I think the worst time was when my sis-in-law was going away overnight and left her two Lassie dogs in my house. I like to think she didn’t know they’d both got diarrhoea… when I got home almost the whole downstairs was plastered in it – including splashes about two foot up the walls! My husband (the guilty party’s brother) refused to clean anything because of the smell and left me to gag my way through cleaning it all up. I was not a happy woman:))

    I do hope your dog’s rear end is back in business in the appropriate manner!

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