Strictly Sucking


Oh Oh Oh, Oh Oh Oh – Beyonce can sleep easy after Dani and Vincent’s Samba last night to ‘If You Like It Put a Ring on It’. No matter what Dani does I can only like her a little bit. I think she may be missing some neck which makes her dancing stiff. […]

Madge and Her Vadge

Wearing cheese slice knickers and doing a tra-la! reveal of her camel toe is 54 year old Madonna’s rock’n’roll choice – here’s a woman with a pelvic floor of granite who clearly doesn’t have a pack of Tena Lady in her bathroom cupboard –

Me? I am all comfy in my bloomers.




Honey, I Shrunk the Strictly Contestants!

Strictly in Wemberly sounded like a great idea, but it brought back unhappy memories of the hours I spent hunting for lost Polly Pocket dollies in the carpet when my daughters were small and teeny weeny Polly Pockets were their favourite toys .

In that vast arena I felt I was looking at the tiny […]

Bag Lady

A dear friend bought a Mulberry Bayswater handbag yesterday. When she told me the price of the bag I thought she said she had bought Bayswater, or at least a three storey house in Bayswater.

As retail experiences go she said it was very high end. After she’d handed over her credit card and got […]

Strictly Jolly

Anyone else think that Brendan is falling for Victoria? Literally. Over he splatted on Saturday night and I loved that Victoria struck a ‘the show must go on’ pose as he lay sprawled at her feet.

Fern’s rumpy-pumpy moves made people all over the UK pick up the ‘phone to vote. But not for her. […]

Will Dorries Be Sorries?

I fear Nadine Dorries has taken Sally Bercow as her inspiration and decided to ignite her middle age with some media luv.

The MP is playing hookey in the jungle on ITV’s ‘I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here’ . Was that a V for Victory sign she made as she parachuted down to […]

Red Alert

There is something worse than having a red nose and cheeks the colour of a tomato. It’s finding out from a dermatologist that the reason I look like the love child of Father Christmas and Pinocchio is that skin mites like to poop in my open pores.

Oh crap.


In My Seams

Now that I have lost weight I am back in the wonderful world of tights because previously only ankle socks fitted. My legs have spent forty years hiding in jeans, leggings and stretchy polyester trousers and my, how shopping for tights has changed.

It used to be a quick dash to M&S for a pair […]

Strictly Chesty

“You go topless and then no-one will notice I’ve done the same Jane Austen-esque dance moves for five weeks!” That must have been the training room conversation between Fern and Artem this week. If Great Aunt Lumber stays in it can only be because the great British public are voting for Artem’s pecs. Just add […]