Vine,Vanessa and Ducks

Hellllllooooooo! I’m back. I would have blogged earlier but I’ve been thawing out after after my summer holiday in Northumberland. I can finally type again now that I have picked the ice shards from my eyes.

We were staying in a cottage that was so luxurious it made me want to do a Lord Lucan from my everyday life – illuminated magnifying mirror in the bathroom for tweezering chin and squeezing blackheads in style, duck egg blue Laura Ashley bedding, puffy white towels and toasty underfloor heating.

It was a deep pit for phone and internet, though. I got occasional incoming calls that sounded like the person on the other end was sizzling something in a very hot wok . One that made it through was the producer of the Jeremy Vine Radio 2 show. It was A level results time and they wanted a Mum to comment on the tensions and thrills of the day. I agreed and got permission from the owner of our cottage to use her landline for a work call call at midday. I explained they’d call me so it wouldn’t cost her anything and would she please come and knock for me when they rang?

The BBC dialled in at the time agreed, I know that because I heard a shriek and the sound of footsteps kicking up  gravel. The lady of the house practically kicked my door in when she slid through it panting “JEREMY VINE wants to speak to you. On my ‘phone! He’s on my ‘phone. I LOVE JEREMY VINE!” She’d heard ‘ Hello, it’s Jeremy Vine for Anna May’ but what the chap actually said was ‘Hello it’s the Jeremy Vine Show for Anna May’.

I took the call, Jeremy was on holiday so it wasn’t him at all, it was Vanessa Feltz. On that day she generated no excitement whatsoever in my corner of Northumberland. Quite the opposite.

But disappointment didn’t stop mein hostess gathering up all the neighbours (eleven in total) to watch me, through her patio doors, do the interview. If you count dogs and ducks I had an audience of 21. And all bar one of them (that ones that didn’t quack or bark) decreed that Vanessa wears her clothes too tight. How they worked that out from a radio broadcast I’m not sure.The remaining one said she’s a  Vanessa fan and thinks her husband, that chef Phil Vickery, is very dishy.

4 comments to Vine,Vanessa and Ducks

  • Glenda Willis

    At long last you are back. Us fans think you should do your blog on holiday and not make us wait TWO WHOLE MONTHS for a bit of excitement!!

    Glad to have you back and hope you had a fantastic holiday.


    ps: is your next book nearly ready for the printers or do we have to wait another year. I can’t contain my excitement.

  • sarah davis

    Welcome back Anna May
    Sounds like you had a great holiday. I sprend 6 days and nights in a tent at an arts festival in Chelterham race course. It rained and rained , huge hailstones bashed against my tent and finally it flooded! and there was mud up to my knees – the beer tent was situated in a river! It was a faith, justice and arts festival so there was a family camped near us who had erected a huge wooden cross along their tents! at night it was lit up! On the last meeting i noticed a woman kneeing at the cross! it looked very intense until i noticed she she trying to roll up her sleeping bag! Sarahy x

  • sarah davis

    Just noticed my comments above are full of terrible grammar and spelling mistakes! I even cannot spell my own name properly! What i meant is that camped near us was a family with several tents and a very large wooden cross beside their tents. On the last morning i noticed a young woman kneeling at the foot of the cross! I throught she was praying but when i got closer i noticed she was in fact rolling up her sleeping bag Sarah x

  • Anna May

    Hello Ginny, I hope you had a great Summer. The next book is mostly in my head and partly on my laptop, but thanks for asking!

    Sarah, SIX nights at an arts festival? You are made of tuff stuff! Was that woman at the foot of the cross Mel C reherarsing for the Jesus Christ Superstar tour?

    Anna May x