Michael Ball’s Bidet

The couple sat in front of me tonight in the cheap seats at the theatre chewed each other’s faces, ears and necks until the lights went down.

As the music started they stopped snogging and he put his arm around her shoulder to pull her close. To hold that position he needed to rest his forearm across my knees because we were all packed in so closely together.

I tapped his arm and whispered to him their embrace wasn’t working for me and he did move it, but then the pair of them spent the first act clutching at one another, nuzzling , stroking and generally behaving like star crossed lovers.

How I wished that Michael Ball as Sweeney Todd could have made his way up from the stage to the Upper Circle along with his blade and sorted them out. Mrs Lovatt could have made a nice passion pie out of the pair of them.

Talking of Michael Ball –  in the interval a member of staff told me that the bidet in the great man’s dressing room is fully employed for chilling bottles of champagne. Class.

And what a woman. Imelda Staunton gave a performance this evening which, even from seats so high and steep that they were best suited to mountain goats,  was the best I have seen on a stage.

I stood up as I applauded Ms Staunton and noticed that the man in front of me was busy sucking on his girlfriend’s plait.

3 comments to Michael Ball’s Bidet

  • I’ve not been around much lately, Anna, but when I saw “Michael Ball’s bidet” on my blog roll I was instantly compelled to come over and check it out. I don’t think you can get a a better headline than that! I am not sure though what says about you though – or me in that I want to read it. We should both probably check in somewhere…:))

  • Julie

    apparently Michael Ball is unrecognisble in Sweeney Todd ad people have gone to th box office after the show asking for a refund believing he’s not in the show! Can’t wait to see it. I too was at the theatre last night – thankfully, no nuzzling couples which would drive me nutty. I even hate rustling of sweet wrppers in the theatre!

  • Anna May

    Jane, I just luvva luvva Michael Ball !

    He does look very dfferent in Sweeney Todd, Julie, but then he looked VERY different as Edna in Hairspray, too.

    Anna May x