Balls and Undertakers and Coconut Mushrooms

I’ll be up all night catching up on the work I didn’t do today because Wimbledon gobbled my time. The big tennis question of the day is has the club dumped the rule about players walking off the court together after a match? I have seen several losers stroppy walking to the dressing room ahead of the winner this week.  And  why can’t Andy Murray muster a smile? He’d make a good undertaker if the tennis doesn’t work out for him.

Talking of British players – Elena Baltacha is a dead ringer for Meryl Streep with a racquet, but she walks like a cowboy and always looks like she’s arrived on court straight from Accident and Emergency. Today she was wearing shin splints on both legs and previously I’ve seen her thighs and knees  bandaged. She has the look of the hunted about her and an expression that says, “Please don’t hurt me….”

Sue Barker has dodged the BBC edict that a woman must  be young and gorgeous to get on telly.  Today she was wearing a prison break style tunic in municipal blue that buttoned up to her chin, a good fashion pointer for us oldies with chicken necks.

Watch out for me on the telly on Saturday because I am lucky, lucky, lucky enough to have a seat on Centre Court . I will be the one wearing a couture Asda print tunic, QVC leggings and toting a hobo bag bigger than a bin liner which will be spilling over with Coconut Mushrooms, Fruitellas and Percy Pigs.

Because I am three stone lighter than in previous years I hope that if it’s hot and sweaty I won’t sucker onto the thigh of whoever is sat next to me.

8 comments to Balls and Undertakers and Coconut Mushrooms

  • I’m not a great fan of tennis, but your post made me laugh anyway. I’ve only been to centre court once, years ago, and John McEnroe was playing one of his last matches. I didn’t appreciate it at the time, being heavily pregnant – I remember wishing it would hurry up and finish!

    Hope you have a lovely time. You may be an impressive 3 stone lighter, but at least you’ll be easy to spot in your weird bag-lady chic 🙂

  • Oh God if that really is what you’ll be wearing, I apologise profusely for my last comment!!

  • Ginny Willis

    Do I really have to suffer a Saturday afternoon of tennis just to see if I can see you – YES I DO!!!

    Can you wear your black sequin Primark hat as well so as it sparkles in the sunshine.

    Have a great day and take your own strawberries.


  • Jan

    I am well jel of you with your centre court ticket. The last time I was at centre court I was watching reigning champion Jimmy Connors play the newcomer John Lloyd. Ahem, of course I was only about six years old at the time. Enjoy your day.

  • Anna May

    Karen, I forgive you.

    Ginny, I must make sure I don’t put the strawberries at the bottom of my bag…..

    Jan -you have aged so much better than those two guys!

    Anna May x

  • sarah davis

    The last time i went to wimbledon i also saw Mcenroe on centre court and all the tennis racquets were still made of wood! ( and cat gut ) Percy pigs my very favourite sweets although i do like the coconut mushrooms too! Have a great day
    Sarah X

  • Will be looking out for you …. approve of your good taste in coconut mushrooms and Percy Pigs. Classic Wimbledon fare, of course.

  • Anna May

    Sarah, John McEnroe was my pin up when I was ata school. My friend and I wrote to him asking whether he would like to marry either one of us. Funny enough he never replied 🙁

    Fran, coconut mushrooms and cream are what Wimbledon is all about…….

    Anna May x