Guff and Gussets

I went to the cinema to see The Judy Dench Show  The Not Best Exotic Marigold Hackneyed Waste of Two Hours You’ll Never Get Back Formulaic Hotel yesterday. I was sat in front of a group of  bus pass holders who smelt of gin and laughed long and hard at the occasional sex and drug references.

One of them took her dentures out and put them in her lap in order to give her  her ketchup smothered Hot Nachos a right good sucking. They cost £6.50. £6.50. Daylight robbery and she didn’t get any discount for being a pensioner, you know. And there was no hand sanitiser in the toilets. And she was worried about the quality of the elastic in her BHS knickers (no-one does a gusset like M&S) and how next door’s cat keeps piddling on her daffodil heads.

I know all this because she repeated it seventeen times,  loudly, to her friend Marge who was sat in the seat to her right. Marge  fell asleep during the advertisements and didn’t wake up until the film was over. “Wasn’t Judy Dench very good” were Marge’s first words when she came to. I think it was a question not a statement.

7 comments to Guff and Gussets

  • Ginny Willis

    I think you should go to a more upmarket cinema at perhaps Westfield or Swiss Cottage.

    It is a good job you didn’t go on Orange Wednesday – imagine it being to times worse!!!

    Anyway, did you enjoy the film???

    G xx

  • Ginny Willis

    That should have said ‘imagine it being TEN times worse.

    G xx

  • Julie

    I saw that yesterday and liked it – I did think Maggie Smith was excellent. Someone needs to tell Dev Patel to relax and stop overacting. It was a nice Sunday afternoon film for wrinklies. Not sure what I was doing there?!!

  • sarah davis

    Maybe Marge and her friend thought the film was called ‘the best erotic marigold hotel’?
    Hot nachos they sound revolting!!

  • Ginny, I was bored witless by the daft film, thank you for asking.

    Julie, Dev Patel was cringingly awful in itwasn’t he?

    Sarah, If only it had been the best erotic marigold hotel! I wouldn’t be complaining…

    Anna May x

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