In Yer Face

‘A good Lifeguard is a dry Lifeguard’ – that’s what my daughters were told when they were training. I got a Lifeguard wet today doing an  AquaBlast Class in my local pool.

It’s a hangover from being the naughty girl in school that I always choose to be in the back row for everything. A near neighbour AquaBlaster bloke, with  back hair so long it fanned around him as he swam, suggested I might want to stand elsewhere. “No, it’s OK,thanks, I don’t mind it” I said chummy-style pointing to his long, waterlogged  strands. He looked wounded, ” They’ve replaced and regrouted the tiles there, it’s very slippy. That’s why you might want to stand elsewhere.”

The Instructor bounced in and ordered a one minute silent sway in tribute to Witney Houston.  Standing still would have been more respectful but you can’t really do that in a pool.When that was over we all went bonkers to ‘I Want to Dance With Somebody’: leaping, star jumping, jogging, can-canning. It was a splash fest.

But  hairy man was right, it was very slippy where I was stood. In fact so slippy I was effectively doing AquaBlast on ice and, unlike everyone else, I finished up every move under the water.

The Lifeguard didn’t get wet diving into the pool. He noticed I was struggling and came down from his chair to have a word with me poolside.  I was concentrating  very hard on following orders and being a jogging windmill (repeat eight times) so I didn’t hear him ask “Is there something wrong with you?” or then say “What the bloody hell is wrong with you?” after I  speed scooped several handfuls of pool water up and straight into his face.



2 comments to In Yer Face

  • Julie

    how nice of the man to warn you about the slippy bit. You must have looked totally mad but just think of all the extra calories you burnt off with all your flailing about. Nice of the lifeguard too not to blow his whistle at you.

  • Anna May

    Hi Julie, this exercising malarkey takes up a LOT of energy!

    Anna May x