Don’t Count Your Chickens

I got involved in chicken wars last night.

As a vegetarian chicken-slut I prefer to buy them ready cooked for my carnivore family. Last night in Costco I was at the head of a queue of sixteen people for the last sixteen chickens of the day that were still roasting. I waited 20 minutes for my tender, tasty, (so I’m told)  bird.

When they were cooked the staff member boxed them and started sliding the chickens along the counter. I assumed the etiquette would be one chicken per queuer – all very British and with no opportunity for fowl play.

An elderly Chinese lady appeared from nowhere and shouted something that sounded like “HeeeeHaaaaa!” She bowled through us to the front of the line, seized three boxes and dashed off.

When our collective amazement wore off (2 seconds later) as one the entire sixteen strong queue surged forward to do battle for the remaining thirteen chickens.

Vegetarians eat a lot of legumes, we are strong, and I am pleased but not surprised to announce that I managed to secure a hot chicken.

When I met up with my husband at the tills – he was easy to recognise because he was the one in the Ugg Boot hat and shorts – I told him what I had been through to acquire my £2.99 chicken. He immediately seized it from the trolley, held it high and shouted, “Anyone want a hot bird for a fiver?”

There were no takers. Should I be offended?



10 comments to Don’t Count Your Chickens

  • sarah davis

    very how cheeky
    have a good weekend Anna May x

  • sarah davis

    p.s what is an ugg hat?

  • Anna May

    Hello Sarah, everything in the world you need to know about the bespoke Ugg Hat can be found in my post called ‘Happy New Hat’ fron Jan 11th this year. You will be shocked! I certainly was.
    Anna May x

  • Diddy

    shorts and an ugg hat? the man’s a legend

  • Jan

    Fowl play…I love it! Oh and how nice to know that it isn’t just my husband who is embarrassing when out shopping.

  • Ginny Willis

    On the coldest day of the year so far, what was your husband doing wearing shorts?

    By the way, I have 30 chicks boxed up at home awaiting your adoption by you, your sister and a friend (10 for each of you). They are all neatly stacked with their scarves on. I must warn you though – they are very noisy!!! xx

  • Strangely enough my husband just braved the snowy weather and has returned from the supermarket with a hot bird. There’s a very bad joke in there, but I’m too cold to think of one!

  • Julie

    I one saw two old ladies wrestle with each other over a turkey in M&S at Christmas time but it went on so long I didn’t stick about to see who won. I am pleased you came away unscathed with your chicken – this sort of behaviour wouldn’t happen over tofu or quorn!

  • You should only be offended that he pimped you so cheaply Anna; probably no takers because people thought it was too good to be true.

  • Anna May

    Diddy, you are his kindred spirit….

    Jan, we’ve only ourselves to blame for bringing them along!

    Ginny, he has pledged to wear shorts all year round to prove he is ‘ard, and thank you very clucking much for the chicks.

    Karen, I’m told leg or breast is the big dilemma?

    Julie, so true. Vegetarians are very civilised.

    Mike, there is a recession (double dip) in progress you know……

    Anna May x