Cliff Richard and the Kama Sutra

It’s Flabuary and I am keeping up the gym visits. Today I did an exercise class called ‘Tea and Tone’ which my husband misheard this morning as tea and scone.

I turned up to find six retired women dressed in various shades of pastel exercise/sleepwear. Without stating their age there was no doubt this lot  had travelled to the gym using their free bus passes, knowwadi mean?

So we lined up and the music started and it was Cliff Richard’s Living Doll. As I marched on the spot I was smiling inside at how I’d somehow got tangled up with the old folk. Then it ramped up and went from Cliff Richard to James Brown to Bobby Brown to semi consciousness for me in less than ten minutes.

Those old women were cheerfully channelling their inner Olga Korbuts, and making a very good job of it, too. A few of them got their legs into places  that were more Kama Sutra than Council Sports Centre .  The Ladies chatted all through the hour, no heavy breathing even. Me?  I was panting and looking around hoping to see an oxygen tank at the ready for emergencies..

Purple and fighting for breath  I even tore the gusset of my stretch pants trying to keep up. When the class was all over after 58.6 minutes (there was a clock on the wall that I was convinced was broken because it was moving so slowly) the ladies recommended I try Coffee and Cardio next week.

5 comments to Cliff Richard and the Kama Sutra

  • Julie

    I once played tennis with a friend against two eighty year old who had wooden rackets, stood on the baseline only and looked like they were called Ethel and Gussie. I shouted to them “are you ok to start?” , they shouted “yes” and then we were anihalated 6-0, 6-0 in about 20mins. Not my finest hour on a tennis court. Your old dears sound like a lively bunch and very supple so go easy or you’ll end up in A&E on oxygen!

  • Anna, please please do not mention Cliff and the Karma Sutra in the same sentence again – the very idea is making me feel distinctly queasy:))

  • Ginny Willis

    I guess these old dears were using their bus passes, walking to the bus stop and back, carrying their shopping home from the supermarket, struggling to the train station with their suitcases for their annual week’s holiday at Bognor Regis and not coming out of their houses, jumping into their cars and turning on the ignition, shopping trolley at the supermarket, uploading contents into the car boot, unloading it at home etc. Not like me who now does most of my shopping on-line.

    I am sure you will feel much better once you get used to the exercises. I only wish I had the body and mind to do them. xx

  • This reminds me of a writing class I attended years and years back in which we had to modify a well-known saying and I wrote a little poem based on the idea of being ‘hoisted by your own leotard’ about a middle-aged woman at the gym. Haven’t thought about that for ages!

  • Anna May

    Julie, these ladies were like human jumping beans!

    Hahaha Jane – sorry about that.

    Ginny, my body is willing bit not able at the mo!

    Fran, the only gym rhyme I can offer you at the moment is ‘keeping fit feels ????’ I’ll leave the rest to you….
    ps:nowhere near as witty as ‘hoisted by your own leotard’ – good work!

    Anna May x