Happy,Happy, Happy!

I am so excited with my special Christmas present from my daughters. It is a work of art, a thing of beauty and totally original. It has an unequalled sense of proportion and balance. In my expert opinion my present is priceless.

My gift? An airing cupboard blitz: the girls hoovered it out, then ironed […]

Witter and Glitter

My favourite part of the Strictlyganza final was the group dance. Who knew that Dan Lobb and Rory Bremner had been contestants this year? Edwina hefted on to the floor wearing a dress that was pure Queen Mother and facial expressions that were totally porn star, and Anita emoted all over the place all over […]

Sparkly!

Tonight I was sat at the kitchen table enjoying a mug of tea and a dunked digestive and skimming a slimming magazine when I heard my name on the radio.

It was a ‘phone-in programme, Iain Dale’s on LBC, and the topic was favourite books of 2011 – and someone rang in to talk about […]

Where’s my Housey-Housey?

My husband was calling Christmas Bingo for the ‘old folk’ , very loudly, yesterday. It’s a voluntary thing he does every year.

He’s home late on Bingo night because after the games he drops the winners and losers home in a minibus and there’s always a few that can’t remember where they live. One lady, […]

Cheers! See you in A&E!

‘Mad Friday’ is what NHS staff working in Accident and Emergency call the last Friday before Christmas when 40% of their patients are VERY merry. According to a report from a North West Health Trust last year’s yuletide loons included:

Two men playing a drinking game in the hospital canteen whilst they wait to see […]

A Sofa Swingathon

So Christalex Bleakjones is out, the woman deserved a consolation trophy for putting up with bigbrat James Jordan. I wonder which One Show presenter will be strutting her stuff on Strictly 2012?

I think Holly has cement running through her veins, how else could she look so gorgeous and yet dance like a lumberjack? I […]

A Shrunken Head

I’ve just had an eye test and disovered that after forty plus years of getting gradually more short sighted my eyesight has spontaneously improved.

The Optomestrist explained it is because my head is getting smaller. He predicts that the rest of me will soon start shrinking with age, too.

I am going to celebrate with […]

Crying at Christmas

Yesterday I had lunch with a friend and we chatted about things worth crying about. On my list I included Gareth Malone’s/ Military Wives Christmas Song and the current John Lewis ad where the cute little boy can’t wait for Christmas morning to GIVE not receive his gift.

I actually teared up just remembering his […]

The Gary Rhodes Delusional Dancer Award 2011

I’m weary and in need of a Strictly surprise to get me excited for the spurt to the finish. It’s all got soooo predictable…..

Maybe Tess could tell Brucie to shut the fook up mid feeble gag – or not gurn for, say, thirty seconds at least? Or Dave Arch and his band could be […]