Sweet as Pumpkin Pie?

I’ve had three Trick or Treating knocks at the door tonight.

The first was a seventy year old man saying that if I didn’t give him a can of beer he would pee in my porch.

The second was two Vicki Pollards (sixth formers I reckon) who were fully  face loaded with neon makeup and wearing hot pants, tight t shirts and push up ( and out and in your face) bras. They demanded bacardi breezers but said they’d settle for Doritos. I asked them what their trick was but they were distracted when a gust of wind  roughed up their hair extensions and they ran off screeching.

The third was five guys , all with stubble and broken voices. They requested fireworks and when I told them I had none one replied in a billy goat gruff voice, “I ain’t being funny or nuffink…. but you better have.” We stared one another out for a few moments and, in the end, each took a  satsuma and said thank you nicely.

I blame the parents for dressing them up as pumpkins when they were babies.


9 comments to Sweet as Pumpkin Pie?

  • Do you live in a big town? In this little village I had one visit from three primary school aged boys, who were very pleased I looked frightened, and to whom I gave a biscuit each. I failed to check whether they’d got a trick. It was Guide night in the village so the girls had apparently done only a short route that didn’t include my end of the village. That was it. The family are pleased with the biscuits though and clearly feel that, since they are Hallowe’en shaped, they need eating up quickly!

  • sarah

    We had about 70 trick or treaters last night almost run out of fruit and sweets. My daughter did her ususal moaning ‘ you wouldnt let me trick ot treat’ when i was younger’ etc etc

  • I won’t even answer the door to the little scroungers.

    But if I did, I’d probably give laxative chocolate.

  • Pauline

    I’ve recently moved into an old cottage in a cul-de-sac that is entirely surrounded by sheltered housing flats. It’s as quiet as the, erm, grave. No trick or treaters at all yesterday, but I reckon the local kids are frightened that Dot will wave her stick at them or Les will run them over with his fearsome buggy.

  • Ginny Willis

    Why don’t I ever get any trick or treaters at my house? Even some of my postmen cannot find my front door!

  • Anna May

    Hello Hausfrau, your little village sound so quaint – very different to my mean streets here in the city !

    Sarah, SEVENTY? SEVENTY? That’s not trick or treating, that’s communuty service!

    Mike, laxative chocolate might result in something worse than pee in my porch……

    Ginny, you are obviously a VIP living in an exclusive gated development.

    Anna May x

  • Julie

    Sarah should have just left her door open! 70 trick or treaters. I dont like Halloween but I love Firework Night – love the smell of it! Anna May – maybe you should try and befriend some of the people who knocked?

  • This was funny! We had no one visit. Mind you, I did put a note on the door saying ‘Beware – witch-eating Rottweiler’. Maybe it was that.

  • We’ve had no trick or treaters since my husband offered a tin of octopus chunks as a ‘treat’ to a bunch of bemused 5-year olds a couple of years ago. He swore there was a box of Celebrations at the back of the cupboard, but sadly I’d found them first.