Wax Lyrical

The Nurse who syringed my friend’s ear earlier today flushed out eight teaspoons of wax and was thrilled with her trawl. “I have enough wax here for all the candles in Downton Abbey’s Dining Room!” she laughed and then she hummed the theme tune to the show. I think she’s a fan.

Love You Lots Soon

“Love you soon” is what I said to my daughter at the end of our telephone call today. It was an absent minded cross between love you lots and see you soon. “Why?” “Too many reasons to say, you’re kind, you’re funny, you’re my daugh…” “Why soon though?” “No not soon. Now. You are always […]

Theatre Tickets and Tent Pegs

I’ve had two visits to the theatre in the last week. The first was to see Playboy of the Western World at the Old Vic. I loved the play, but not the production, and by half time I was wishing I’d stayed at home and just read it instead. Sinead Cusack was really good as […]

Take Cat

My 12 year old cat is slowing down. It’s taking her longer to chew, stretch and shift. She has taken to conking out on the car when it is parked on the front drive.

Yesterday I drove a twenty minute round trip to the post office and supermarket before I noticed her sleeping with […]

ZZZzzzzzz

You heard it here first. Coming this way from America – Napnasiums – snooze spaces at work.

Don’t Kiss Me Kate

Vom. I have just watched Fake Winsit, I mean Kate Winslet accepting her Emmy at this year’s ceremony.

She had a particularly insincere kissing action – lip to lip with her hands cupping her victims’ faces whilst keeping one bright eye to camera and the other to the monitor.

And Laura Linney woz robbed.

Harper’s Bizarre Mum

Why is Victoria Beckham, who could afford a gold plated buggy, staggering around New York on bonk-me silly shoes with daughter Harper clucthed to her chest? And where is her regulation Mum bag stuffed to busting with nappies, cream, wipes, nappy bags, bottles of milk, bottles of water, breast pump, change of designer dress and […]

Strictly Sensational 2011

It’s going to be a VINTAGE year, I can tell already.

Tonight’s theme was game old birds: Tess Daly wore a Sesame Street big bird jumpsuit and introduced Dolly Parton who was dressed in Mother Goose style gauchos.

Edwina Currie was done up as half Queen Mother and half showgirl. Lulu is clearly this […]

Bluebottles and Blockbusters

I did a book signing of ‘Me and Mine’ today and was surprised that three members of the public came especially to ask my advice about getting their book published. I did point out that as it took me thirty years to get a publishing deal I hardly count as an expert.

One insistent and […]

Christeenager Bleakley

32 year old Christine Bleakley turned up to visit her old secondary school yesterday wearing full school uniform including a mini skirt and knee socks.

What will she wear if she goes to the visit the hospital where she was born? Just a nappy?