Horlicks and Statuettes

Oscars 2011 – what was good about it?

Oprah presenting an award in a gorgeous black and grey dress that worked her bosom/waist ratio to perfection.

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban together in the front row, they are so SWEET. They make me feel all blushy shy just gawping at them.

Batty posh Helena Bonham […]

IT Girl

I was waiting for my husband outside The Bush theatre tonight when a man approached me. He wasn’t carrying all his belongings in a carrier bag held together with string and when he smiled at me his teeth were all his own and clean. Vagrant rating? None out of ten.

“You going to the theatre?” […]

Gypsies,Tents and Prunes

I was cut up in the supermarket queue yesterday. I had a basket and the woman in front of me was holding two packets of hot cross buns . She put her items on the conveyor belt and I reached in for the plastic separator so I could unpack my shopping. “Mind out” she said […]

The Phantom of Oz

I’ve spent a lot of time in theatreland this last six weeks, and to round it off to celebrate my baby’s (daughter not husband) 21st we went en famille to see The Phantom of the Opera.

It never occurred to me that it wouldn’t be fab – it’s been running for thirty years and it’s […]

Boils and Cabbages

Just seen a couple tongue fencing at the bus stop. He had a problem with neck boils and she was wearing fishnets with sandals and clutching a heart shaped helium balloon that read ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’.

I stood and stared a while and then went on my way to the fruit and veg shop. In […]

Starry Starry NOT

Why are the BAFTAS so bleedy dull?

‘Nood’ was big amongst the dresses, and why do the men always stick with black. Isn’t colour unisex?

Tilda Swinton has the best posture in the world but chose to wrap her ass up like a Christmas present topped off with a big satin bow. I’m sure […]

Six Boots – One Style

I found my perfect boots in Holland – http://www.wolkyshop.com/

If I tell you what my husband said when I put them on, “Why are you dressed like a Hungarian folk dancer?” and share my fashionista daughter number three’s comment “I see Wonderwoman’s got herself a wok” (I was stir frying tofu at the time) do […]

Dead Pigeon Handwash

I washed my hands in a dead pigeon last night.

It was 4am and I was sleepy and when it happened I did that thing they do on films – stood open mouthed and stared at what was coming out of my bathroom hot tap and down onto my hands.

Think Amytyville Horror. What was […]

Pastille Protocol

Went to see Clybourne Park at the theatre tonight -it was hilarious and thought tangling.

Being very civic spirited I had pre-wrapped my fruit pastilles (eliminating the green ones which I detest) in clingfilm so I could get at them without rustle and then suck them noiselessly during the performance. I certainly know how to […]