i bread

I was sat in a restaurant last night waiting to order and diners at the tables around me were either eating bread or had crumby side plates that revealed they had previously enjoyed bread.

The waiter ambled over to my table, his notepad at the ready, and I began by asking him if I could […]

Wheely Sad

My youngest passed her driving test and I am having the sweats at the thought of her driving alone.

When I see her getting into the front seat of the car I want to cry “Noooo! What do you think you are doing? Get into your booster seat back there and let me buckle you […]

Hospital Hoot

I had a hospital appointment yesterday and was seen by a Dr Chu Chu.

We had a brief chat and then she apologised for passing me on to her colleague, explaining she had to leave early to get to the station………….

Suits Me

I’ve had a lot of difficulty getting a new swimsuit. The rules of purchase are no cleveage – chest, front or back bottom, no hello sailor gold or button trims, no cups inside the bra that are shaped like sweetheart cabbages and no built in tightly elasticated girdles that would stop the blood supply to […]

Don’t Stand So Close to Me……

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1346787/Sting-Trudie-Styler-reveal-secret-strong-30-year-marriage–tawdry-sex.html

Sting and Trudy Styler making the nation barffffff by banging on and on about their sex life is hugely entertaining, not least because it inspired one of my all time favourite jokes:

Q – What do Sting and Trudy’s Tantric Sex antics and a Plumber’s Appointment have in common?

A – You stay in […]

Gotta Love Love Story

Just to prove that I CAN be pleased in the theatre after my last two bum and mind numbing experiences at ‘A Flea in Her Ear’ and ‘Onassis’ last night I went on a £10 ticket to see ‘Love Story the musical’ in the West End ………and loved it.

I was with my husband who […]

Miriam Rocks

I hope that 51 year old Miriam O’ Reilly’s successful age discrimation case against the BBC means that the era of Beauty and the Beast TV presenter pairings on ALL channels is over.

When working on a BBC TV show Ms O Reilly was offered a can of black hair dye and told to […]

Getting My Oats

Yesterday I made an oriental woman scream with fright , clutch her chest and say “velly scaywee” three times in a row. She had to be helped to a chaise longue and given a glass of orange blossom water to recover.

I was enjoying a la-di-dah day spa in London, courtesy of some gift vouchers, […]

Critical Thinking

Went to the final night of the very ordinary play ‘Onassis’ starring Robert Lindsay. After the curtain call -when Lindsay got muted applause for a 5 out of ten evening at the theatre – he took centre stage and gave a rousing speech to the departing audience. Voice cracking with emotion he told how the […]

Skates and Fleas and Witches

Between Christmas and New Year we had our annual family excursion to Somerset House Ice Rink and the theatre. This year we bought tickets for ‘A Flea in Her Ear’ at the Old Vic which was SO bad it gave me A Bug Up My Ass as the tickets at £30 apiece times twelve of […]