Ten Ton Toes

Had the dancing shoes been dipped in concrete on last night’s Strictly? It was heavy legs all around, and Anne Widdecombe simply played statues and pulled funny faces. I am completely over her. In fact the whole show was as tired as Scccccccccoooooottttttt  – until Gavin popped up in the grip of a pair of green plaid trousers..

He’s a one man homage to Nice Bum, Hard Pecs, Shame About the IQ Celebrity Students of Dance. Dressed as Clark Kent if he’d had a telephone box on set to leap into last night  Gavin would have  made a call to book an appointment at the spray tanning salon. No need at all to put his pants on over his tights, because  he already thinks he is Superman. But he does crestfallen like no other jaffa.

And I can announce the couple who should hang the Champions Glitterball over their bed – it’s Heartem and Kara. A perfect union of sway and smile.

7 comments to Ten Ton Toes

  • Pauline

    What an odd night it was! Over-tired, over-hyped and over-marked. You’re right, though – Kara and Artem are the class act. I’m lacklustre myself, so this is all I could come up with on the limerick front:

    Widdy’s doing a rumba! Don’t panic!
    Shes the iceberg that sank the Titanic.
    I quite liked the notion
    Of fog on the ocean,
    Which mean I saw far less of Ann – eek!

  • Jan

    Everyone seems to have gone off the boil a bit – except for Kara off course. Even Scccottttt hasn’t been as good this last couple of weeks.
    By the way I still say that Gavin looks like Our Tyrone off Coronation Street but with a better bod

  • Julie

    “Heart-em” is just so lovely – I’ve not heard him speak as yet and hope he’s going a strong Russian accent as it will be upsetting if he’s from Middlessex or Birmingham (no offence to Middx folk or Brummies!). I think Strictly is just too long a series – it’s becoming the same every week.

  • Ginny Willis

    Strictly has definitely had its day. I even prefer to sit and look at my computer rather than watch Strictly. I look up occasionally when the hunk is on.

  • Anna May

    Pauline, Ahoy there! And don’t be modest, it was a lifebelter of a limerick. Thank you.

    Julie. Heartem doesn’t ned to talk in any accent. He just is.

    Ginny, there’s something I need to tell you about Ian……….

    Anna May x

  • Julie

    I LOVE Pauline’s limericks – very clever and must take hours to construct! I was never one for writing poetry. Keep ’em coming!

  • Pauline

    Thank you, Julie – you’re very kind. There’s a Strictly Limericks thread on the Digital Spy forum http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=684000 and, believe me, my efforts are paltry compared to some on there. For example, I posted a Christmas-themed limerick about Ann:

    Forum members are huffing and puffing –
    ‘That woman can’t dance! She does nothing!
    ‘If we had our way
    ‘On the next Christmas Day
    ‘She’d be served up with cranberry stuffing.’

    And, SEVEN MINUTES later, back came the fabulous response:

    I know she’s a bit of a duffer
    But with cranberries I wouldn’t stuff ‘er
    I think that forcemeat
    Would go down a treat
    But not down her mouth – somewhere rougher.