Donkeys and Asses

It’s long been my opinion that the only items of clothing that should be made in yellow are babygros. Yellow is a trigger for migraine and an all around embarrassment for anyone old enought to sit up by themselves.

So when Anne Widdecombe turned up on Strictly last night looking like a canary on steroids I instantly felt a headache rising.  Then I  thought I saw two giant honeydew melons beneath her skirts until I  realised I was looking at the Right Hon’s ass.  An ass that was strictly not for turning, shaking or boogeying in the ‘Roomba’ as the pro’s pronounce it, although it was good for a bit of  floor spinning and bouncing…… and a lot of kissing from  members of the public daft enough to spend money on telephone calls keeping her in. 

My allegiances spin a lot faster that Anne and this week in Blackpool I much  appreciated Gav’s ‘singing’ and Elvis legs,  Katya’s pointless sunhat and Pam’s manky-panky with James who looks like a lanky rat, and is easily the most unappealing male pro dancer. BRING BACK IAN!!!!! Or at the very least least make him a pageboy at Will and Katie’s wedding.

6 comments to Donkeys and Asses

  • Pauline

    Oh, I agree with you about bringing back Ian! Is there anybody, anywhere, who doesn’t love him? Apart from the Strictly producers, of course.

    I almost hate to confess it, but I own a yellow jacket (which I think is also the name of some nasty, stinging insect), but it looks nice, honestly!

    This week’s Strictly limerick:

    Ann doesn’t like smut; she’s discreet
    Though she’s frequently swept off her feet.
    She sprawls on her bum
    And this week, for some,
    She was Big Bird from Sesame Street.

  • Pauline

    PS – although I totally understand the confusion, the dance that Ann and Anton didn’t actually do was supposed to be a samba, not a rumba.

  • Yes, why DID they get rid of Ian Waite??

    Great limerick, but couldn’t bear to watch Ann this week – I think I’m ‘over’ her as it were.

    Loved Kara and Pamela. Len was a bit feisty this week!

  • Anna May

    Thank you for this week’s lyrical limerick. Your ditties are so excellent I will make an exception and permit you to wear yellow ! And apologies for getting my dances mixed up – in Anne W’s case I think I will rename whatever it was she did to the Bumba.

    Len mentioned piles last night when he was judging Anne, I think he displayed the temper of a man with an acute case of same…….

    Anna May x


  • Ginny Willis

    Well, personally, I think there should be two competions. One for dancers and one for non-dancers. That would make the competitions fairer.

    I think the BBC are doing it this way to gain votes and income – how else could they afford such ammmaaazzz sets, dresses, guests etc. I have to admit that I only voted once in the first series.

  • Julie

    I think Widdy will win and should be serenaded by Wagner from the X Factor who may just win that! he seems a nice enough man but who is voting for him? I think Gillian McKeith thought she would be on Strictly and found herself in the jungle. All very confusing. I think i should be Lady Cara in Downton Abbey. As for Widdy, I thought it was very funny seeing her flung about the floor and as for poor Fliss this week, nice frock but bye bye.