What is a  pirate’s favourite shop? Aaaaaaaaargos!

My husband  went there on Saturday and bought a hair trimmer. On the box it said ‘Cut Your Own Hair!’ and there was a picture of a Donald Trump lookalike smiling.   He handed the hair trimmer  to me. I told him I preferred to go to the hairdresser and he replied, “No. You can cut mine.” Like I’d just got lucky.

I pointed to where the box stated ‘ Cut Your Own Hair’, and then I fired the trimmer out of the kitchen window and down the garden yelling,”So you don’t think I’m busy enough?”

Undeterred he fetched it in and made a phone call to his best friend and invited him over – to save money.  He arrived within the hour. They pair agreed they were going to cut out the middleman Barber and cut one another’s hair. It was a plan, but not a good one because they weren’t comfortable (much too straight)  touching each other’s heads. They emerged after a couple of hours alone together in the sitting room/salon – a teacher and a policeman with an MBE, looking like a pair of  grey haired Johnny Rottens.

“I’ll do the dog, too” cried my husband, “the more I cut, the more I save!” The dog fell asleep on the garden table as my husband shaved. He dozed off  as a  border collie and woke up, in the words of daughter number two, as a ‘homeless dog’. Daughter number one muttered, “Should have gone to Specsavers….”

I have just applied sunscreen  to the dog to take him for a walk because so much canine pink skin is exposed. My husband aka Nicky Barke for services to dog hairdressing, did every inch of the animal bar the hair around his testicle. Yes, singular. He only has the  one and that’s another story. And now it looks like a giant hairy plum swinging from his bald body.

“It’ll grow back” is my husband’s mantra for the week.

7 comments to Trimtastic

  • If you ever get poorly, please promise me that you won’t let that man shave your legs for you.

  • Diddy

    Not a plum job, then?

  • Fran, the hair that should be on my legs is on my chin so no worries there.

    Diddy, fruity.

    Anna May x

  • Julie Pereira

    The poor dog sounds so loyal to lie there and be shaved and then slathered with sunscreen – what a hound. do they look alike now? Your turn next to be mowed.
    I love a bargain but cutting my own hair is a snip too far. Why would I shave my own legs myself when I can go and have hot wax poured on them before it’s rippped out by a stranger using a piece of cloth? your hubby’s approach to hair removal is tame.

  • I’ve long been in charge of shaving my husband’s and my son’s hair. Maybe if I make them look like Donald Trump they’ll stop asking?

  • Debbie

    You should sell this story to Spec-Savers 🙂

  • Julie, I’ve told him you think he’s a wimp for not waxing and he’s coming to get you.

    Karen, I hope they’re good tippers…..

    Debbie, good idea – twice for double vision!

    Anna May x