Blisteringly Good

Yesterday ay Wimbledon I discovered another good reason to be a vegetarian. Sitting on Centre Court in searing sunlight without any shade I now know what a chicken in a hot oven would feel like. I know that makes limited sense because the roasting chicken would already be dead, but my brains got sunburnt yesterday […]

Bed Shoes

I am Wimbledonnning on Monday and spent some time today doing a dry run of getting out the front door on time. I hate to miss a minute of my favourite day of the year so I like to think ahead. Almost all is as it should be – my Coconut Mushrooms (refridgerated because of […]

Trimtastic

What is a pirate’s favourite shop? Aaaaaaaaargos!

My husband went there on Saturday and bought a hair trimmer. On the box it said ‘Cut Your Own Hair!’ and there was a picture of a Donald Trump lookalike smiling. He handed the hair trimmer to me. I told him I preferred to go to the hairdresser […]

Nurse Narcolepsy

NHS Outpatients. 3.15pm. The clinic nurse is asleep on her chair which is about six feet from her reception desk. Her head is resting on the wall under a handwritten sign that reads ‘Good Morning – Welcome to No-Name Hospital.’

I didn’t wake her up. The telephone ringing did . She opened her eyes […]

Nicole/Papa/Pyjamas

Last night I was on BBC Radio 5 Live defending a man’s right to wear pyjamas. Guy Ritchie is apparently guilty of a crime against good taste because he was photographed on his doorstep in jim jams earlier this week. He was waving off his gorgeous new girlfriend at the time. She is umpteen years […]

Purgatory, Polyester and Inspiration

Just back from the Royal Academy Summer Show in London this evening. It was a special free invite that my sister had given me, even though her ticket said not tranferable. What can I say? We’re rebels.

I think it was a showing organised by the Orthapaedic Society ( if there is such a […]

Too Sexy For My Car Keys

My husband and I were moving daughter number two out of her student house and having a ding dong on the pavement outside about whether Dreamcatchers (she has several) really work or not when we saw her neighbour step out of his front door. A famous person.

We stopped arguing to stare at the lead […]

Philistina

At my Writing Group tonight the task set for each member was to compose a list of ten things we need to create the perfect productive writing environment. Mine read:

1. Sleep – I can’t be tired

2. Clean teeth – furry teeth = furry thoughts

3. Big knickers – no distracting elastic bites

4. […]

Paradise Found

I am in mourning for my PERFECT weekend. It was spent at a Health Spa with my entire extended family. It’s amazing how alike we look when we’re all in white dressing gowns with sticky out hair. My husband kept referring to himself as a patient instead of a guest. The kindly staff who wore […]

The Ferryman, the Permit and Pandas

The plan last night was to hook the trailer to the car, drive across London from North West to South East and collect daughter number one and her gear from her University Halls of Residence at the end of her first year. It worked perfectly the other way around last September, so what could possibly […]