I was going to cancel my volunteering session at the hospice today – because I have a spot on the end of my nose. It wasn’t a health and safety issue or anything like that. It is very well secured to my nose and wasn’t about to drop into the jelly and ice cream I serve patients from my trolley – but it is terrifyingly big. Think a peanut, or a raisin or Nanny McPhee and you’ll be in the zone.

After grappling with my conscience I decided to be brave and go anyway in spite of what I looked like. After all, if you are resident in a Hospice you definitely have better things to worry about than my custard topped skin eruptions.

But they didn’t. Every single patient I served, bar one,  made a reference to it. “Is that your unborn twin?” “You should see a doctor about that” and “That had better not be catching!” were just three of the comments my spot got.  As I trundled around it felt as though the spot was pulsing and then I started to think it was glowing in the heat of the day.

The one patient who didn’t immediately remark on my gobstopper sized spot just sat up very straight and widened his eyes. Thinking I’d get in there first (and convinced he would be polite and deny any knowledge of spotzilla) I said, “You look shocked! It’s not my spot is it?” and he answered, “What a whopper!”

I finished my trolley rounds helped myself to a large bowl of jelly and ice cream and ate it sitting on a  bench in the Hospice’s Kindness Garden.

5 comments to Spotzilla

  • Roisin Nagle


  • Julie Pereira

    Ditto Roisin’s comment. Super-gross.

  • bobbie

    Commiserations. I swear by savlon. Even on days I don’t have spots, I put a little on my nose and chin for luck. Gradually my nose clears of threatening acne, like it bloody well should at my age.

  • Anna May

    Roisin and Julie, I wish you big spots of your own – to teach you to empathise.

    Bobbie, Savlon is now on my shopping list.

    Anna May x

  • You could have pretended that you were rehearsing for Nanny McPhee(?) with your amateur dramatics theatre group. Why didn’t you slap on a plaster ? Next time, incorporate the spot into some fancy facial design-you must have seen London Ink! Create a mask and declare it’s carnival time!!!!!!!!!!!!