Salad Nights

Last night I went to see a play called Little Gem at The Bush Theatre. It’s an intimate space and I blubbed all over it. The writing and the performances clobbered me. The show was one hour and forty minutes long, no interval,  and it felt like less than fifteen minutes. The three actresses who sat centre stage without any props and talked straight to the audience –  never to one another – were super sensational.

I sat next to two forty something ladies with crew cuts wearing hemp earrings and matching Ecco shoes. They were sharing one Marks and Spencer salad using a fork apiece. “Hello” said woman number one as I sat down next to her, “Have you eaten?” It might be a London thing but my first thought was – did I just get insulted?   Did she mean I looked like I ate a lot? Or maybe that I smelt of lunch?  A toasted cheddar and tomato sandwich, by the way.

But no. The pair of them were beaming at me (with what my favourite 6 year old friend calls ‘smiley teeth’) and actually offering me some of their salad.  I declined and tried not to sound scared, and then the other one offered me a pineapple and coconut yoghurt from her sludge coloured canvas shopping bag.

I mimed no thankyou. It was a thirsty night after that. I had a bottle of water in my bag but stayed dry for an hour and forty minutes because I knew they would expect me to share it with them and I didn’t want to.

4 comments to Salad Nights

  • That is definitely spooky behaviour at a theatre. And I was very very scared when you started saying how they smiled at you, because I could swear you were going to say there was basil in between their teeth. And the sludge colour of the bag didn’t help much either. Oh yuk.

  • Oh lovely nutty hippy ladies. I have a pal who is one and, yes, they expect sharing to flow. It gets annoying when the flow always comes from one side…

  • Fran, I’m thinking about the cheese,chive and strangers saliva dips that are on offer at some parties……..

    Hi Nuala, sharing is (mostly) good.

    Anna May x

  • Diddy

    Was the salad sharing offer a cucumber shaped come-on?