Take It Lying Down

I wore several different tops today. A floral chifffon number, a hungarian folk dancing inspired black and white sensation, a scoop neck jersey jobby with sequin bugle beads around the neck and a symphony in cerise silk with frills. There were more but I don’t want to give full details of my Spring/Summer collection just […]

Relax? Don’t Do It!

I should have guessed it was a mickey mouse place when I stubbed my toe on the honeydew melons that were strewn around the floor.

The owner had a very Irish name, for example, Dymphna O Dooley O Dooley. It wasn’t that, and I won’t say what it was in case she sues me, but […]

Sit SATs

I was on Radio 5 Live two nights ago discussing the teaching unions decision to snatch back this year’s SATs exam papers from hands of the ten and eleven years who are, pens poised, ready to do them in just a couple of weeks.

The Headteacher who was my radio sparring partner said he’d asked […]

No Lava-ing Matter

I have today e-mailed Gordon Brown and promised him my vote if he will arrange a small detour for HMS Albion between Santander and Plymouth.

I need the warship to nip over to New York and collect my pre paid copy of Kitty Kelley’s Oprah Winfrey biography, or trashography. According to a message I […]

Fretty Betty and Porridge

At 5am last Thursday morning I heard the volcanic ash news story on the bedroom radio. I was up at that hour to drive my husband and son to Luton airport. They were going on a male bonding trip to southern Ireland to chase moose, wrestle bears and grow more hard skin on their feet […]

Purple Peaches and Denim

Last night I refused to play ball with Tony Livesey on his Radio 5 Live Show. He was trying to compile a list of things that the over forties shouldn’t wear. Of course, it was actually about what women over forty shouldn’t wear, and I kept insisting they can wear anything they want to.

Jeans, […]

The Appliance of Science

My husband who is on school holidays clearly doesn’t have enough marking or dog walking to do because he decided to investigate our new vacuum cleaner, a pink Hettie, sister to orange Henry.

I was on the doorstep paying the window cleaner when we both heard the noise. “You opera types?” he asked.

It wasn’t […]

Sky High

Two men came to my house today and turned me on, and about time too.

My Sky TV blew up ten days ago and I have been ‘without functionality’ since. This meant that a programme that lasted an hour actually took an hour to watch – I was without recording or fast forwarding or pausing […]

Swan Canal

We took an Easter Monday walk along a canal towpath – me, the dog and my very own elephant man ( see previous post about skin eruptions) and along bobbed a mummy and daddy duck followed by their babies…. four plum sized tots covered in dandelion style fluff. Even my very gruff other half […]