White or Wrong ?

I had a big ding dong on the radio last night with Julian Bennett from the TV programme ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’. His views on what women MUST do to stay attractive for their men were yabadabadoo stone age stuff.

Julian’s Eleventh Commandment decrees that furry pits, hairy legs, getting old, not dyeing […]

Hit Man

Frozen basil, raspberries, carrots, olives with chilli, a pack of pentel pens, smoked cheese with bits of ham in it and stool softeners. That’s what I unpacked from my basket and put on the conveyor belt yesterday in Sainsburys. Oh, and the woman on the till had such enormous long breasts that they were down […]

Whose Bed Is It Anyway ?

A UK hotel chain is employing human bedwarmers to heat up beds before their guests climb in for the night. The Daily Telegraph says so – http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/retailandconsumer/7009900/Hotel-chain-offers-human-bed-warmers.html

I have questions.

Firstly – gissa job? I could definitely do that. Although I can see the potential for conflict when the paying guest told me to […]

Globes and Wiggles

It’s 1.15 am and I can’t go to bed because the 67th Golden Globes Awards Ceremony is live on TV. I am pigging out on botox and cleveage and teeth bleach.

My Irish mother gene makes me want to scream at Mariah Carey “Keep your chest warm!” Her dress has got to be on back […]

Is there a Doctor in the Kitchen?

One of my daughters is a medical student and living at home for 3 months while she does her general surgery placement at our local hospital.

That’s why I found a pair of surgical scrubs in our laundry basket. I boil washed them and put them on the drying rack to air. So far, so […]

Hot and Cross and Cake

Christmas cakes are a sore subject in my house.

I once made my own by steeping dried fruit in booze beginning in February and squishing it monthly with my feet until November to make it good and moist and potent. I grew my own marzipan for it, and actually signed up for an evening class […]

Big Spender Small Seat

Went to the Menier Chocolate Factory to see the musical ‘Sweet Charity’ which is tipped for a transfer to the West End.

My seat cost £27 and was a plank of wood so low to the floor that I sat with my cheekbones between my knees. Numb-bumitis would have been a pleasure. I suffered maximus […]

Postman Prat

Happy New Year to you all – may it be your best ever.

2010 – the number of tears I cried as we drove away from our family Christmas holiday at a Luxury Health Spa.When we arrived there on Christmas Eve for this first in a lifetime experience there was a brief wardrobe malfunction when […]