By the time you pronounced their names properly – Michael Malitowski and Joanna Leunis - they had almost finished their high octane leg slinging Rumba. They are the indisputable champions of the world and they way they danced made me wonder if my Sky remote was stuck on fast forward. Yes, they looked a bit like tranny trapeze artists but they had world beating greasy hips. And as for Joanna’s sheer-black-see-right-thru outfit ? What an astonishing coincidence ! I am wearing the exact same transparent jumpsuit in my recurring anxiety dream . The one where my teeth are all dropping out of my gums and pinging into the Tesco trolley I am pushing around the crowded aisles.
Talking of costumes. IAN AND JADE. Her outfit was like a David Attenborough show all on it’s own - a fishing net and a giant moth habitat combined. And I don’t care what Brucie says, Ian is my favourite. Last night he looked like his hair had been dipped in icing sugar and his bottom half in black molasses. He is adorable and they were genius together. I think people voted for them to be in the dance off so they could reprise the hunt for Ian’s belly button. Does he actually have one, is it in the wrong place or has he had it surgically filled/removed for ergonomic reasons ? This is my big worry of the week.
It was all going wrong for poor Flavia last night. She was suffering from acute ’Is my fringe too short in this - itis?’ Yes,Yes,Yes. And having to get to grips with a partner who in spite of a full week of Rumba rehearsals decided on the night to dance a Scottish jig whilst singing Karaoke. I have pasta sauce down the front of my pj’s to prove how much I enjoyed their twirl into daftness.
You’ve got me hooked !!!! I almost took a magnifying glass to the screen in search of Ian’s navel. After much pondering I believe I’ve solved the mystery of the elusive navel. It’s quite simple—— Ian was not born of woman!!!!!
Moya, you can’t stop there ! Animal, vegetable or mineral ?
Anna May x
Anna. Your writing makes me speechless as I am laughing so much. You must make verbal notes into a hand-held gadget to not miss ANY of the action. You cannot even blink or have special see-through eyelids.
Just love everything and cannot wait for you Family Memoirs……
ps. Still don’t know where he puts it – have you found out?