Strictly on Sunday

Ballast legs Martinia Hingis got lobbed off Strictly last night with an dazzling loser’s grin fixed to her face. That would be the one  she perfected during her years as a dull tennis player.

Lynda Bellingham couldn’t move much, let alone dance,  because her  industrial strength knee to nipples Spanx  had her in such a grip. Was that a grimace or a smile on her face ? She needs to believe, and to shake her ass with more conviction. There’s a lot of women who were twenty something  thirty years ago relying on you, Lynda, so unleash your inner whirling dervish, please.

 Ricky Groves has a mouth the size of the Dartmouth Tunnel and it  hangs open when he dances. I sympathise because my mouth does that same  gawp thing when I apply mascara . Ricky’s partner Erin Boag looked liked she’d arrived too late for hair and make up on last night’s show. Apart from the animal/vegetable / mineral dress she was wearing Erin could have been fresh from her week’s Tesco shop.

I hope Tess Daly gets Carer’s Allowance for her weekly stint with Brucie, and a bonus for wearing the Quality Street/ bin bag dress. Where’s Stella McArtney when you need her ?

And poor, poor Alesha –  outclassed by Craig Revel Horwood.  It’s ‘Three Men and a Baby’  the remake…..

 That girl needs to  get herself daaaaahn the job centre tomorrow morning and find  another gig before  her likeability  factor is squandered on this series of Strictly.  

My verdict on the first weekend of this year’s Strictly? 10% fabulous and  90% forgettable.

3 comments to Strictly on Sunday

  • Julie Pereira

    Who are these people?!! Never heard of 75% of them but boy did I laugh. Ricky whateverhisnameis, looked like he was fitting and Linda Bellingham moved like she was tring to hold on to Oxo cubes between her thighs.

    As for that new female dancer – she looked like she wanted to push her partner off the floor and dance alone for the camera – “more we and less me” from her as CRH said. Erin looked like she was about to take a man sized plucked turkey on the dance floor and had backcombed her hair to do so. Miaowww! And it’s only week one – yippee!

  • Debbie

    Woohoo, Strictly is back!!
    Bring on the cat fights.

    I missed Saturdays show but Friday’s show was hilarious.
    There is going to be a remote control related divorce on our house because Kevin refuses to watch it. That’s until he saw Joe Calzaghe dancing and said something to effect of “that’s the best dance ever!”. This is coming from the man who could just about manage a hug/shuffle as our first dance.

  • Anna May

    ‘Kung Fu Fghting’ was the first dance at our wedding, Debbie. Yay for Kevin – a Strictly Convert !

    Julie, ‘More we and less me’ coming from Craig Revel Horwood? Classic !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Anna May x