Anna May Mangan’s Writing News

My student daughters are currently working at a London Summer School taking care of children aged between 8 and 13 years old who have come  from overseas to learn English and see the sights. It’s a fun job and a lot less wet than the one my niece and nephew ‘ooop north’ are doing in a pea factory. Their 12 hour shifts involve giant hoses and tenderometers (prongs to test the succulence of the peas – I kid you not) and earmuffs.

The connection here is earmuffs. One of my daughters is currently looking after two 8 year old Japanese girls who wear earmuffs everywhere, - to bed, to lessons, in the shower and sightseeing. They are neon yellow and look like poms poms. They came in  very handy yesterday in the Chamber of Horrors section of a major London attraction where the special effects include the Chamber being plunged in and out of darkness at random intervals, and  some of the  scary exhibits coming to life . This is very well received as most patrons  don’t feel as if they have had their money’s worth unless they have  come close to pooping their pants with fright during their visit.

Her two little Japanese girls were squealing and clamped onto my daughter’s legs with terror even before the room went dark. Directly in front of them was what seemed to be a small group of people but actually it was a very wide  American lady who was paralysed by fright every time the lights went out. Matters took a turn for the  worse when a waxwork dummy of a chainsaw murderer suddenly came to life in front of her. He gave a convincing loud and blood curdling scream. Lightening and thunder struck  and at that moment the ‘waxwork’  lost his footing and fell from his platform onto the very enormous and  petrified American lady.

Respect. This women took on the chainsaw murderer with her rucksack. He was actually a Bristol University undergraduate working during his Summer break, he cried this fact out several times but Mrs America Plus didn’t want to listen. He raised up his chainsaw in self defence – a big mistake - she beat him harder. Hollering sumo style she wrestled him to the ground, fake blood flying everywhere and tried to kill him before he killed her. The American woman started to choke him, ignoring his spluttered apologies “I am so sorry Madam, I lost my footing ….”

Finally and very reluctantly my Sandhurst trained daughter had to step in to rescue the chainsaw murderer, and the two little Japanese girls in her care are now scarred for life.  They were convinced the  chainsaw wielding giant with the white face, vampire teeth and bloodsoaked shirt  was  first going to kill the American lady,  then my daughter  and finally turn on the two of them.

Mid rescue my daughter called over to the little girls not to be scared but because the American lady was shrieking, the chainsaw murderer was crying, there was simulated thunder and lightening going on and they were wearing earmuffs the terrified and traumatised eight year olds couldn’t hear what she was saying. And anyway,  they don’t speak English.

When they next write home to their parents in Japan that will be one sensational Hello Mudda, Hallo Fadda letter.