My husband claims he spent the weekend in France pulling a plane, which is the size of a family saloon car, along the streets of Douai on a piece of string. According to him he was cheered as he plane-pulled by enthusiaistic locals who threw tickertape to show their appreciation. That’s what he told me he was doing. It’s a possibility that he was, in fact, playing away and spent Saturday and Sunday spreadeagled on a four poster covered in creme de menthe flavoured body paint applied by a glamour model girlfriend. But personally I think the plane/crowds/procession story is very feasible.
Whilst he was away I did not sleep alone. When I made my bed this morning and shook out the duvet a hairy male was streching out beaneath it. He had eight legs, all with kneecaps and a ribcage the size of my palm. This fella who had been lurking in my bed was large enough to make me scream and run and abandon my morning moisturising /clean underwear routine because I am not going back into that room without a rifle. I don’t know where he is right now but I think I can hear him walking upstairs……..or is that my face squeaking without a morning slavering of my Protect and Perfect serum ?
” When I made the bed this morning and shook out the duvet a hairy male was stretched out beneath it”
My Lord and members of the jury, I put it to you that Anna- May was indeed NOT alone in her bed last night but was in the company not of a mere incy wincy spider but that of SPIDERMAN himself!!!!!!!!!! I rest my case.
Moya, you need to cook more and clean harder to keep your blood down.
Anna May X
ps : I plead not guilty